This last week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me.  Which is hard, because...I don't love emotion.

I don't love to cry.  I don't feel better after a good cry.  I feel worse.  Worse for being "weak", worse because my eyes are swollen and gross.  Worse because I can't explain to Brett why I'm crying (I don't even know why!).

I consider today's wicked headache as the apex of this horrible hormone week, and am determined that tomorrow I will be flying high.  Tomorrow, the sun will rise for me, and  I won't curse it for making me hot and sweaty, and blinding my headache with horrible pain.

Speaking of sweaty, it's going to be 106 today.  Right now I feel cool and comfortable, not moving from my couch.  The shades are drawn, all the fans are going, and my AC is only on 78.  I feel confident that I can make it through the day in the same shirt.

Ha!  Sweat is seriously at the forefront of my mind.  Yesterday I drank 256 oz. of water and only peed once.  My lips were still dry at the end of the day.  I don't know how to stay hydrated in this desert heat.  If 256 oz of cool water can't do it, I really don't know what can, at this point.

I wrote letters to all three of my children last night.  I can't believe how big they all are. Kembry can read and Chloe is talking.  It's all so indecent!

Cohen will be 7 in a few weeks.  SEVEN.  Let that sink it.  SEVEN.  I will be mother to a boy.  Not a little boy.  A boy.  A wet-dog smelling boy.  A boy who wears black socks with shorts, boy.  A boy who thinks farts are funny.

Thankfully I can relive his babyhood once my new little boy is born.  And I will.  Oh, I will.  I'll say things like, "Cohen, when you were a baby, you would do this, too..."  Cohen will love it.  Or he'll pretend to, he's good like that.

In the meantime, in the in-between time, I'm going to take a nap.  And eat some Spaghettio's and another creamsickle.  And probably cry some more.  Why?  No idea...

Waaaaaarm

Some days I almost completely forget I'm pregnant.

Well, not completely, not so much anymore.  I sort of have a HUGE reminder sticking out in front of me.

But some days it's really not at the fore front of my mind.

Other days, however, it's my entire day.

I forget the limits being pregnant sets on my body.  I forget I need to eat often (and healthy).  I forget to drink enough water.  I forget to rest. 

I forget to stay cool.

Ugh.  Even in a mall, I manage to over heat.  I've never had heat exhaustion before, but it is uncomfortable!  And sort of embarrassing.  I don't like security guards mulling over me, watching me drink ice water.  It was awkward, and uncomfortable.

So I'm determined to say cool.  Hence, I'm never leaving the house, which will soon be turned into a giant refrigerator.

Kids, so help me if you open that front door.

And what is with the hormones!

I was apologizing to Brett about how hormonal I've been lately.  His response, "It's okay.  You mostly take it out on yourself."

I'm thoughtful that way ;)

Here's to a cool 97 degrees today!

The Plan

Since I have little-to-no self control, I've concocted a plan to keep my orange cramsicle sucking down to a minimum.

I'm going to throw the wrappers in the same garbage bag every time.  Namely, my bedroom garbage bag, because I don't empty it out everyday. 

This way, every time I go to throw away a wrapper, I'll be reminded of the 40 I've already eaten, feel a huge amount of guilt and self-disgust, finish off the one I've already opened (I don't want to be wasteful) and then not eat another until I've forgotten the aforementioned. 

Whew.  Gonna be a lot of work.  Better start off with a cremesicle.

24 Weeks

Size of Our Little Stinker:  Kian is the size of a grapefruit.  Or there abouts.

Total Weight Gain: 2 pounds.  Not sure how this is even possible, but there you have it.  I am in no way complaining and hope I can keep up this trend.

Gender:  Still a bouncing baby boy!  And I'm super excited because this is the first pregnancy ever that I get to have a 3D ultrasound.  I've never seen what my babies will look like before they're born, and I'm super excited to get a glimpse.  I'm always so amazed at how much the newborns really look like their 3D ultrasounds.  Woo hoo!

Movement:  Oh yeah, he's a wiggler.  I love it!

Sleep:  I'm guessing he gets great sleep.  As for me, I'm becoming more acquainted with the lost sheep of yore.  I tend to wake up every morning, without fail, at 6:35.  It's getting eerie.

Contractions have been keeping me awake.  The discomfort and then the following stress that comes with them.  Will they stop?

What I Miss:  Not having contractions.  It was a nice run.  I lasted a lot longer than I did with Chloe!  I'm not throwing in the towel yet, or anything.  I guess I'm just wallowing because the last few days have been crappy.  But things will look up again!!

Cravings:  Orange-cycles.  Yep, went and bought a 20 pack.  I think I have 12 left.  So long net weight gain of 2 pounds.  Hello fat house!

Symptoms:  I'm already getting a little breathless despite the fact that little whipper snapper is riding super low.  Granted, when one has no torso, where does one carry a baby?  All over, that's where.  So even though he's stretching out my nether regions with all due diligence, I still feel a great deal of pressure on my diaphragm. 

"Why are you breathing so hard?"

"I just peeled an orange...an hour ago."  Ha!

Oh, and totally bizarre, I have (had) canker sours around my back molars, just around the gums.  Super painful.  Great way to diet.

Best Moment of the Week:  Um, having my labor stopped.  Ok, not really the best moment, per-say, but still kind of convenient.  I really enjoyed having a teaching partner on Sunday for Primary (riding solo is no fun after awhile) and she gave an awesome lesson.  I felt like I as in relief society and  I got to decorate a cookie.  Sweet.

Also totally awesome: having totally awesome neighbors.  Seriously, when Brett rolled in Monday night, and we needed a sitter right then, our awesome neighbors totally took the reigns and raised our kids for the night.  She even got Cohen to do his homework and Kembry to clean up the living room.  I love our neighbors. 

Worst Moment of the Week:  Yep, another one.  Spent Monday night in the hospital with stubborn contractions that refused to quit.  I felt comforted knowing that they weren't causing any changes in my cervix, so after the third medication and threats of admitting me, I moved the monitor up.  POOF!  No more contractions.  Ok, I still had some, but there were definitely slowing down to my liking, and that's all that matters.  In all honesty, I would have stayed if I felt there was a need.  I just didn't feel like there was.  Baby was fine, I was fine, and everything turned out okay.  Minus me feeling like I was run over with a dump truck.  And I still have contractions today.  Pooey.  But they're not regular enough for me to worry.  Just uncomfortable enough for me to not do the dishes *wink*.

Because I'm weird, I want to remember my irrational thinking.  When my contractions start getting closer and more regular, I do the most random things.  I try sitting and resting, and if this doesn't work, I try working.  I clean.  I fold laundry.  I make bread.  I take a little walk. I try my hardest to ignore them. Surprisingly, this makes it worse.  Who knew?  So I take a warm bath.  Rub lavendar on my belly.  Do breathing exercises.  After six hours of this, I finally call my doctor.  Why?  Because I'm stubborn and I really hope and think they'll stop.

But you try explaining this to a nurse in the Women's Center, and she all but calls the authorities on my neglectful behind.   Thank heavens I have my handsome husband there to explain to them my stubbornness, and that I really would never intentionally risk the life of my sweet son.  Plus, he's good looking.  Nurses always listen to good looking men.

The nice, totally awesome part about having an irritable uterus:  I can command it to go into labor at 37 weeks.  A quick romp around the neighborhood and BAM!  I'm dilated to a 3.  Okay, so that was with Chloe.  I'm just hoping I get that same pay out this time around.

This Weeks Thoughts:  I'm just so curious to know why I have an irritable uterus.  If we are in fact imbued with all knowledge in the hereafter, I am will be most anxious to find out just what was going on with that particular muscle.

Sibling Rivalry:  I guess I should write this part not after a night like tonight.  Still, it's good to remember the tough times to really appreciate the good times.

I think Kembry is having an adverse reaction to something.  Like manners, and behaving.  She bit a girl at school today.  She has never been a biter.  Or a spitter, or a hitter, or anything un-lady like.  She prides herself on being a lady.  Apparently ladies burp.  Anyway, not only that, but she had a royal tantrum because there was a retirement party for a teacher at her school, and she couldn't go.  Her teacher is dumbfounded.  I'm just dumb.  I can't figure out what's been going on with her poor behavior.  I hope we figure it out, because it can't feel good to keep being told that you're naughty.  I love her too much to keep pounding that into her.

But still, why the heck is she being so freaking naughty?!

Speaking of annoying know-it-alls.  Oh, I wasn't?  Well, Cohen is being an annoying know-it-all.  Luckily I get to just sit back and laugh because it bothers Brett more than it bothers me (lately).  Brett (and his mother) inform me that it's just the age, and all annoyingness will ebb in 10 or so years.  Holy crap, kill me now.

Speaking of darling little angels...Oh, I wasn't?  Because Chloe is absolutely the most perfect, beautiful, sweet hearted little angel in the world.  I just adore everything about her.  I can't understand how I have such a perfect little girl, but I do.  And Brett agrees.  So now it's doctrine.  She's perfect. 

And there you have it.  24 weeks of pregnancy.  A minimum of 13 to go.  Not too shabby.  I think I can make it =)

On Second Thought

I wonder what would happen if someone talked to me that way concerning my chores.

It would probably go something like this...

Somebody:  You need to do the laundry.

Me:  No.

Somebody:  Stop playing on the computer.  Your children have no clothes.  You need to do the laundry.

Me:  No.

Somebody:  Fine.  At least finish the dishes.

Me:  No.

Somebody:  Your daughter isn't wearing a shirt.

Me:  No.

Somebody:  That wasn't even a response.  Listen, are you going to finish the laundry this century or what?

Me:  No.

The Conversation Went Something Like This...

Cohen: Can I go to Logan's?

Me:  No.  Also, you need to clean your room.

*Two hours later, after watching several Spongebob episodes*


Cohen: Can I go to Logan's house now?

Me: Um.  No.  You need to clean your room.

Cohen:  After I clean my room?

Me: No.  You've been there the past three days.  Stay home for a bit.

*A weary attempt to clean his room later...He stands and watches Spongebob more than cleaning...*


Me:  You can go and watch Spongebob if you want.

Me:  *snicker*

Cohen (all a quiver with excitement that I'm going to be "nicer" now):  Can I go to Logan's?!

Me:  No.

Cohen: Ooooooooooh!  What if I clean my room?  Did you mean clean my whole room, or just pick stuff up.

Me:  No.  Clean you room.

Cohen:  Then I can go to Logan's?!

Me:  No.

Cohen:  Ooooooooooh!

Me:  *snicker*


The boy is nothing if not persistent.  When it comes to going to his friends.  Not cleaning his room.  Still, at least I get a good chuckle out of it.


Our neighbors have a cute 3 year old daughter who is exactly like Kembry when Kembry was 3.  I felt a cringe somewhere out there.  She can be a bit tough.  Adorable, but tough.  Her cute mom asked me what we did to combat Kembry's less than fun behaviors.  This was Brett's response, "I don't care who won that battle.  I'm just glad it's over!"

Amen, honey.  Amen.

Here's to brighter futures and cleaner rooms!  Up high!

What?! A Post NOT About Pregnancy?

So I took my sweet Chloe to the doctor today. 

Finally.

I say this because she's had a cough and a wheeze for what feels like forever.  She had croup back in November, and I've been keeping count since then.

6 months is a long time for a baby to have a cough.

But then I felt extra crummy-mummy when we were watching home videos on Sunday.  Chloe was hacking up a lung in one of them, and I said, "You've had that cough for a long time, Chloe!"  She was 7 months old.

UGH!

So the spirit whispered to me, take her to the doctor when she isn't sick.  Clever thinking, spirit.  Because the doctor was able to hear a very pronounced wheeze that had nothing to do with being "sick".

My poor girl gets so tired when she plays.  She takes extra long naps.  And she coughs and wheezes all the time.  I'm so glad we know what's wrong now, and that we're on our way to "fixing" it, or, at least, maintaining it.

I may feel differently when she starts having more energy *WINK* 

Twenty Two Skadoo and Twenty Three...Ska...Dee?

I don't know how it happened.  I guess it was bound.  I missed a week.  Fooey.

Size of My Baby Boy:  Kian is the size of a pomegranate.  Which apparently is bigger than a cantaloupe.  I'd like to see a pomegranate bigger than a cantaloupe.  What does this have to do with the size of my baby?  Absolutely nothing.

Total Weight Gain:  I'll know on Wednesday.  These past two weeks have been filled with little-to-no self-control.  Chocolate, treats, candy...you name it (if it was unhealthy) and I probably ate it.  Tonight I returned to my "I will eat healthy and not become as giant as a whale" program.  I'll let you know how it goes ;)

Gender:  As far as I know, he's still a boy.  But the funny part about his gender is that when people find out I'm having a boy, they ask me if I'm sad.  This is usually done when I'm with Chloe, so I'm confused at this random and unwelcome sentiment.  No.  In fact, I am elated it's a boy.  Brett can only handle so many beauty queens and guns.  And I can only handle so many female teenagers.  Think of all the menstruating and hormones!  I'm nothing if not pragmatic.

Movement:  Boy howdy, we have a wiggle wart.  He has his many, many hours of complete and utter stillness (*poke poke* you still alive in there, boy?)  But when he takes to moving, he doesn't kid around.  And, sadly, he is very nocturnal.  I've learned (with Chloe) this generally translates into "real life".  I.e., you won't be seeing much of me the first few months of my little bats life.

Sleep:  Some nights are blissfully wonderful.  Others are filled with bathroom breaks, acid reflux, and a hyper-active fetus.  Also, I'm drooling.  A lot..  I'm remembering, belatedly, that I drooled a lot with Chloe.  I can't remember much with the other two, but I'm guessing I did then, too.

What I Miss:  A non-sensitive bladder and ibuprofen.

Cravings:  Cheesy things.  Nachos, nachos with cheese, nachos with extra cheese.  Um, chocolate.

Symptoms:  My contractions are a lot easier to handle with this pregnancy, hallelujah!!  But they still come, and sometimes are overpowering.

Discharge.  You're welcome.  What is with this stuff?  I swear I think my "bags of water" is leaking, constantly. Such a pain!!

Also, airheadedness.  I backed into a moving car today.  I didn't even look behind me.  How pathetic is that?

I blame lack of both sleep and soda.

Best Moment of the Week:  I don't know.  My life is pretty freaking awesome.  I have awesome kids and an even awesomer husband.  I know I had thought of one earlier, but I can't think of it now.  See above "airheadedness".

This Weeks Thoughts:  If this little guy is anything like his sisters, he'll come 3 weeks early.  And I'm totally savvy with that.  It would mean that I only have 14 weeks left.  Which, at the same time sounds like a lot and not a lot.  Soon, but sooo far away.

I'm getting excited to nurse.  Not just for the 500 extra calories of weight loss, but for the fun bonding time.  I loved that, and I miss it!

Sibling Rivalry:  I really liked the talk, "Teaching Our Children to Understand" talk given at Aprils General Conference by Cheryl A. Esplin.  It made me think about different ways I can help the kids apply Gospel principles.  I think Brett and I have always done a fairly decent job of pouncing on teaching opportunities as they present themselves.  But I'm trying even harder, involving prayer and trying to, myself, understand Gospel principles better.  I learn more when I learn it through their experiences.

Cohen and Kembry always fight in the bath tub.  I listen as Brett bathes them and it's so hard and frustrating and disheartening.  Sometimes I tease him and say something like, "Kian needs us!" when all 3 of our living children are going nuts.  Just a reminder that things are really going to change in a few months.

So tonight as I was taking a turn to bathe them, and they began to fight, I decided to start singing primary songs.  It was amazing and wonderful how quickly they jumped on the band wagon.  They helped me remember lyrics, they did the hand gestures, and recommended other songs to sing.  Bath time was fun and peaceful, which led into an even more peaceful FHE.

During FHE, we talked about how Enos prayed for the Nephites and also for his enemies.  He prayed for them all to feel the happiness and joy he felt.  I asked the kids if they could think of anyone that we pray about to feel the same happiness that we feel, and that are missing out.  After we did family prayer, and prayed about those people, Cohen said he felt the Spirit.  I asked him what it felt like.  He said it felt like he had a really good day and he was really happy and felt happy.  No better way to describe the Spirit than that, I'd say!

I'm excited to see how Kian and Chloe interact with each other.  I wonder if they'll bicker the same way Cohen and Kembry do.  I wonder if they'll be protective of each other, the way Cohen and Kembry are.  I watch other kids, and while mine definitely act their age a lot, they're also really good kids.  I'm so in love with all three of them.  I can really see how having big families can become a bit of an addiction...Still, this is our last!  Maybe...

21 Weeks

Size of My Little Baby Boy: Kian is the size of a banana.  Isn't that cute?  I know, right.  Sometimes, when he stretches out, I feel like he's the size of TWO bananas.  I think he'll be our biggest baby yet.  He might even hit the 7 pound range!

Total Weight Gain:  I have no idea, but this past week has been full of candy and chocolate and candy and chocolate.  And cheese balls.  Let's not forget the giant bin of cheese balls I bought, with the intention of giving them to Kembry's class for a snack, and then I ate them.  All.  I have no shame.

Gender:  I am just so giddy and in love with this little boy.  I'm so excited to have another little guy running around.  I wonder if he'll have red hair and freckles like his big brother.

Movement:  He moves a lot, and now I can feel it on the outside every day.  He's pretty regular.  Every time I eat, he wiggles.  Granted, I'm usually eating a pound of chocolate, so the sugar probably gets to him!

Sleep:  Sleep isn't so great.  But I'm blessed because I usually get in a 20 minute to 2 hour nap.  Depending on Chloe and fate and if the stars align...

What I Miss:  I miss sleep and just being comfortable all the time. But it's so short termed, it really doesn't matter.

Cravings:  Cheeseballs.  Why are cheeseballs not vegetables?  I move that they should be vegetables.  Then I'd be the healthiest pregnant woman on the face of the planet.  As it is...I'm just a fat cow =/

Symptoms:  Contractions.  Stretching.  Lower back ache.  All the good stuff.  It's not too bad right now, minus the contractions, which suck.  I'm still able to move around, a lot, and I feel better when I do.  You know when you're in the 3rd trimester, and movement is just...well, agony?  Yeah, definitely far from that, thank heavens!!

Best Moment of the Week:  Seeing a kick.  I don't know why that's so exciting, but it is.  I love at the end when you're whole belly moves when they do.  So seeing that kick just reminded me that he's in there, growing fast, and he'll be here so soon!!!

WORST Moment of the Week:  I'm going to do a worst moment of the week because I had one last Thursday.  After having contractions since the Saturday before, I finally called the doctor.  At 8:30 in the morning.  Brett had to stay home from work they were so bad.  So, I didn't get a call back until 6:30 that night.  It was a nurse calling to say I had a UTI (which was discovered from a urine sample given over a week ago...strange...).  So I wrote off my contractions and back discomfort to that.

Friday comes around, I've taken a few rounds of antibiotics, and my contractions are still there, but now I have this horrible pain in my back.  Just the right side.  Finally, I call my doctor.  I tell him I have a fever, blood in my urine, a UTI and horrible back ache.  Of course I need to go into L&D.

I get there, and they run all the tests.  Meanwhile, they  hook me up to the monitor, and sure enough, there are my contractions.  A little higher than I was used to with Chloe, but again, I write this off to having a UTI.

She asks if I want pain meds.  Seeing as how I'm rolling back and forth on the bed, she really didn't ask.  She just brought in the torture equipment and set me up.

The medicine they gave me was horrible.  I was paralyzed.  Not only (in my humble opinion) was this medicine way too intense for my situation, it was terrifying.  Supposedly I kept telling Brett not to let me die.  I remember thinking that my nurse was trying to kill me.  Seriously, I thought she was trying to murder me.  I need to stop watching A&E.

Finally she comes back.  And guess what?  Not only do I NOT have a UTI, everything looks great!  Plus, the moron, erm, I mean nurse, says, "And your contractions have stopped!"  Well, no, they hadn't.  The monitor was up under my boob due to me thrashing around on the bed.  Soooo, my wise husband said, "We're going to take her home now," and I'm glad he did.  The problem wasn't resolved, but I did NOT feel good being there.  I didn't feel good going in the first place, but at the same time, I didn't want to risk anything.  Especially not with a fever and blood in my urine.  Whatever was off with that night, I may never know, but I'm glad Brett had wisdom enough to take me home to recover.

I'm still having contractions and I'm pretty sure I do have a UTI.  But, I was still taking my antibiotics and so hopefully it will all clear up on it's own and I won't have to worry about nurse Hatchett trying to murder me.

The End.

This Weeks Thoughts:  Thinking make brain hurty.  I have a cold, so my mind is super cloudy and confused.  I've definitely been thinking about how blessed I am to have such an involved and helpful husband.  He's been sick these last couple of days, and so he hasn't been able to pick up my slack, and I really miss him!!  Thankfully, he's on the mend, and I can go back to my neglectful ways.

Sibling Rivalry:  Tonight, as we were leaving to go to a meeting at the church, Kembry said, "Kian gets to go everywhere with us!  We're a family!"  It was so cute.  She loves kissing my belly.  I can't wait for her to feel him kick.  She also made German pancakes ALL BY HERSELF tonight.  Seriously, she poured 1 cup of milk, got 1 cup of flour (I did the eggs), and she mixed it all together.  Then she melted the butter, and swirled it around and everything.  I was so proud of her!!

Chloe has been super clingy.  She's sick, and won't eat.  Basically, she just doesn't feel good and wants mommy to hold her and make it all better.  I have been carrying her around for 3 days (literally, carrying her around.  She weights 30 lbs people!)  And this, obviously, has not helped the contractions.  She won't go to Brett, either, which is totally bizarre.  So, I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that she'll start to feel better and get over this "mommy must hold me every minute of the day" phase.  Not that I don't love holding her.  I just prefer to gestate this baby a little longer than 21 weeks, ya know what I mean?

Half Way There!

Size of My Little Baby Boy:  According to thebump.com, little Kian is the size of a cantaloupe, and I do believe he is.  He is feeling bigger and bigger every day and I love it!

Total Weight Gain:  No clue.  And my kind neighbor borrowed our scale so now I don't even have to worry about it!

Maternity Clothes:  Yes I wear a mu-mu sometimes.  I'm not ashamed to say it.  Ok, I'm slightly ashamed.  I need to buy some more shirts that are thin and short sleeved.  It turns out that Arizona is HOT!

Gender:  B-b-b-b-boy.  I'm still so tickled pink that he's a boy.  I love his name.  I love the idea of having another little soldier.  I love that Cohen will have a brother.  I love it all.

Movement:  He's still breach, and doesn't flip around very much.  He puts a lot of pressure on my lower uterus.  But Brett felt him kick today, and it was cute.  He'll deny it, but his face lit up when he felt him.  He even talked to him and called him "son", which made me light up.

Sleep:  Sleep...has not been good.  But I have great kids and wonderful husband who pick up the slack when I can't.  Or who just don't care when the house is a total mess.  Which, btw, isn't this funny and sad and true?

What I Miss:  Sleep.  This sounds familiar.  I think I post this every week.  And ibuprofen.

Cravings:  This week it has been baked beans and Walmart's rotisserie chicken.  And they proved to be as delicious as my mind believed they were.  Oh, and Oreo cookies, and Reese's Butter Cups.  And grapes.

Symptoms:  I hate to say it, but I've started having contractions again.  Laaaame.  I really hoped positive thoughts would keep them at bay.  Turns out my uterus doesn't have positive thoughts.  Just angry thoughts.  Angry, evil thoughts.  Also, acid reflux, headaches...the usual fun stuff!

Best Moment of the Week:  Was tonight.  Cohen has this know-it-all problem, I have no idea where he gets it.  Anyway, he's always into his sisters business, especially when she's in trouble.  I keep telling him, "You don't have to worry about it Cohen."  Well, tonight I heard Brett giving the girls a bath and getting upset with Chloe because of something.  I hollered, "What happened?"  And Cohen said, "Mom.  You don't have to worry about it.  Makes sense, huh?"  I wanted to cry.  He was right.  Brett had control of the situation, and I didn't have to worry about it.  I love that my six year old shares wisdom with me =)

This Weeks Thoughts:  I'm having a bit of ennui.  But I can't bring myself to leave the house.  I'm always afraid I'll get stuck somewhere having contractions.  I did go to lunch with Brett, and it was fun, minus Chloe and her new tantrum-throwing talents.  Yikes, that girl has lungs.  I'm super excited for this little guy though.  I keep getting butterfly feelings in my tummy, and I just want to hold him already!  20 more weeks!