Embarking

Today I will be venturing out of my "comfort zone", my happy little bubble that I have conveniently placed myself in to avoid the turmoil's and destruction of the world. If I could express my feelings more freely like the ever entertaining guitar-playing naked-cowboy in Time Square, I would most surely be on the side of State Street at 2200 south expressing my worries that "The World is Coming to an End!"

But, luckily for everyone involved, mostly those who don't want to see me wearing nothing but underwear at a cowboy hat, I have placed myself in the heretofore mentioned bubble of sanctity. Murder, pillaging, plundering, hatred, sadness do not enter into my world. Everything here is just hunky-dory.

I quote again Sherrie Johnson, because again, she's inspired me to go out of my way, pop my little bubble, and do what faith requires of me; that is, to question.

Sherrie says, "The mistake we often make, however, if that sometimes we tend to think that when the Holy Ghost is with us everything will be rosy and wonderful. But often the Holy Ghost pushes us out of our comfort zone and into new realms where we can grow into better people. If we trust in the Spirit to lead and change us, we will experience some stress, but it will always lead to being a better person. If we resist the Spirit, he leaves us and we are left to our own resources to survive in this world. The Spirit will guide us to overcome all negative traits, but we have to yield to his promptings in order to experience the mighty change."

Now, many would rather not discuss proposition 8, and 22, and the whole subject at all. I raised my hand to join that group, but unfortunately they were full. A co-worker has graciously given me a book to read called, "No More Goodbyes" by Carol Lynn Pearson, also author of "Goodbye, I Love You". This is an LDS perspective of homosexuality. It is a compilation of both letters and stories written in by people who have come across this…struggle.

I have always shied away from the issue. I may be an "opinionated" person, I think "opinionated coward" would be more accurate, but I am not one who is not willing to change her opinions.

The Spirit has always guided and led me on my way to finding answers to my questions. It was the Spirit who brought to me my testimony of the Gospel when I gazed upon a man whom I had never seen nor heard of. It is the Spirit now that prompts me to understand more fully the struggles of families and individuals who are thrown into the realm of homosexuality. I don't know why. I don't understand this pull, I dread this direction. But I know that at the end there will be a light that will fill me with understanding and love deeper than I am feeling now.

I will be pushed out of my comfort zone, and into new realms where I hope I grow into a better person.