Friday Frivolity

I hate, despise, loath with every fiber in my being, talking on the telephone. 

Ask my best friend.  She knows not to call.  Just come over or ask me at church or send a pigeon.  But don't call.

My mother, who nurtured me in my formative years, cannot understand this extreme change in my nature.  It may have something to do with the endless hours the phone receiver was connected to my ear.  Who knows?

I would rather have hours worth of conversations via text-message than a one minute quicky via telephone.  Yuck.

But you know, there are just always those people who know how to stay on the phone. 

I want to shout, "Let me go!  Leave me alone!  Why are you doing this to me?"  But I don't.  I just nod and smile and say, "Uh-huh.  Haha, that's funny.  Really, oh my..." and so on and so forth and I start thinking, "I can do this.  I can let this person save me from my sick, perculiar phobia."  But ten seconds later I'm struggling again.

I try to cut in with things like, "You know, I really gotta go-"  but they don't hear me.  THEY DON'T HEAR ME! 

So, in short, I love texting.  I feel completely and utterly in control of my conversation duration and content.  I can be succinct, precise, to the point.  And they have to be too!  And if they're not, it's no skin off my ears. 

This is just one more reason I also love Facebook and blogging.  I don't have to spend 10 hours over cold lunch catching up with people I haven't seen for 8 years.  I'm already caught up. 

The internet is like my morning coffee.  Soooooo refreshing.  And it helps perpetuate my need for isolation. 

Thank you technology.  Who needs therapy when I have you?

Kelly Out