Thursday, August 18, 2011

Adjusting

It took me 7 years to adjust to being a wife and mother.  

I used to wake up figuring out ways to avoid doing the everyday stuff I was supposed to do.  I got pretty go at it, too.

But at some point I woke up ready and willing and even grateful to be doing those hum drum chores.  I started realizing that they had an eternal purpose.

Laundry, have an eternal purpose?  Psht, plllease.

No, really.  I mean, not individually in and of itself.  But I started to think that I wanted my children to look back and realize they always had clean clothes hanging in their closet.  That they always had a healthy, usually warm breakfast.  That lunch at school didn't get boring, and that (most of the time) they could invite their friends over without being embarrassed.

It all adds up in the end.

It wasn't until I hit this mark, 7 years post-marriage, that I started to appreciate all that my  mother did for me.

When I moved into my own apartment at 18, I didn't know how to do my own laundry.

Did that sink in?

I was 18 and didn't know how to do my own laundry.


The house fairy didn't make me a warm breakfast.

I couldn't cook anything that didn't have directions on the back of the box.

But this still didn't help it sink in, all that my mother had done for me. 

So while I am focusing on an eternal perspective, I'm also going to go about preparing my little bambinos for their first apartment.  And mission.

*fist to teeth*

Oh that's painful to think about.

My kids will know how to cook, clean, do their laundry and comb their own hair by the time they make it to the sixth grade.  My little 4 year old helps with the laundry and other cleaning (often making me have to do it twice but holding on to that eternal perspective keeps me motivated.  Rinse and repeat.)

There are three ways to teach (the good, better, best standard here)

Show them (good).  "Here honey, let me show you how to fold that laundry."

Help them (better).  "I can help you comb your hair."

Mentor them (best).  There are no words for mentoring.  It's not a talking role, but a doing role.  It's also the hardest.

It takes a lot of practice and patience and perspective to do the best, but it pays off the greatest.  For me and them (child slavery, anyone?)

So as you go about scraping up that smooshed and grody banana off the floor (my first task for the morning), or as you unclog another toilet and painstakingly remove yet another stain, remember all these "mundane" tasks add up to an eternal purpose.

"...I want to spend my life with them for all eternity."

4 comments:

Nielsen Familia said...

Good post! Thanks Kelly! I feel the same way sometimes. Why to I have to do all these chores? Why does Heavenly Father fill up our day with all these things that don't seem to matter in the eternal scheme of things. But, yeah, I realize they do matter, but it's hard to see that they matter sometimes.

Cheyenne and Seth and Co. said...

love it. and i agree. i have wanted to paint the words, "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." Above my washing machine. This has just motivated me to do it soon! I hope doing that, along with naming my washer (Lola, by the way,) will better our relationship. But in all seriousness. I completely agree with this entire post. all of it. And I've been feeling the same way lately. Thanks for helping it sink in even deeper. Love you!

genderist said...

I'm so glad you're back!! I've really missed your insight.

Jess said...

This is a great post and so true! I totally agree. I am grateful that my mom taught me how to do all those things (even though I hated it at the time). So I hope to pass the same gift to my children. Elena already helps with the house (at only 2 years and 4 months old) She cleans up her own toys, and likes to help with chores, even laundry. She likes to take her clothes out of the dryer and into the basket and attempts to help me fold it. haha. So I truly love this post! Totally agree.

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