Twenty Years

 Twenty years ago today, I married my best friend.

I had known him for a total of six months, almost exactly.

I think a lot about the night we met. Sometimes I wonder if I'm embellishing it in my mind, or remembering it differently than how it really happened. 

Rose-colored glasses and all that.

I tell this story to our kids often, and it always gets me misty-eyed.

Not because it was a romantic first meeting.

Or because anything truly earth-shattering happened.

Quite the opposite. 

I get misty eyes because it was the night I met my eternity. 

I went back and read old anniversary blog posts here, and they all made me smile with nostalgia. For our five-year anniversary, it was just four of us: me, Brett, Cohen, and Kembry. Another time, I wrote how I couldn't imagine our family without Kian, who was about 9 months old when I wrote it. I said, "Our family is complete!" Little did we know, we were not complete until Quinn joined us! 

For a long time, I was afraid that Brett would one day divorce me. Not for any specific reason. In fact, we were too happy, which just can't last, right??? But it has. Over twenty years I've learned how to trust because Brett has proven to be trustworthy. I've learned to forgive because he taught me about imperfect people loving perfectly. I've learned how to say, "I'm sorry," because he's been the consummate example of repentance. 

I've watched him grow into a truly amazing father. Ever since our babies were little, he's spoken to them as if they were grown souls, because he knew their little bodies possessed grown spirits. He's taught them the gospel; not just rote memorization of scriptures, but the spirit of the gospel, and how to live it in their lives, and made Christ the center of that knowledge. We've both had the opportunity to walk hand in hand with some of our kids through the process of repentance, and he was an excellent guide. He supports them, and me, through all our hyper fixation stages. With a house full of ADHD, those hyper fixation stages are many and varied! Patient man.

One time, during a particularly bad pain flare-up, I begged Heavenly Father to tell me one good thing that could possibly come through my suffering. The Spirit whispered to me, "Brett has become the man he is because of your pain." A humbling revelation.

Like two trees planted closely together, which then grow taller and stronger until their trunks eventually meld together, Brett and I have ceased being individual twigs and have become a single entity. It sounds corny, I know, but I can't think of a better simile. I feel much stronger because of him, and I know he's stronger with me.

So. Twenty years later. Where are we?

We bought a house in Arizona, and we've lived here for almost twelve years! We brought our last baby home to this house. All five flourish here now. We've welcomed others to live with us, and we have friends over all the time. Our home is always buzzing with life and family.

Our marriage is so much more than just the two of us. I can't talk about twenty years with Brett without talking about the lives we've made and watched grow. We have FIVE kids, which still floors me to this day. Our baby is six, and our first baby is almost an adult. For a woman who never thought she'd have or even want children, this is all a very big deal.

We have TWO doggos, Lily, and Lily Pup's baby, Cici (Carbon Copy or Cookies and Cream, depending on who you ask.) We have too many cats. Brett works from home. I'm working on my degree. 

Every day and every night, I tell Heavenly Father how thankful I am for him. Twenty years of feeling this gratitude, and it never tarnishes. 

Thank you, Love, for seeing in me what I could never see in myself, and helping to nurture her into a real human. I truly would not be who I am without you.

Happy Anniversary