Friday, February 29, 2008

Some things never change

I love Can I share with you for a moment reader? Reading Les Miserables (and currently enjoying it, mind you) I have to laugh as I read an article on MSNBC about the balooning costs of incarcerating inmates in the US. The final paragraph states “These sad facts reflect a very distorted set of national priorities...Perhaps, if we adequately invested in our children and in education, kids who now grow up to be criminals could become productive workers and taxpayers.”
Of course, the first quarter of Les Miserables focuses on this very topic. Not so much harsh punishment (although that is most certainly addressed), but does the punishment fit the crime? And if a crime of "necessity" is commited, who is at fault? The criminal, or the society who created the criminal? Hugo's endearing character Bishop Bienvenu eloquently puts it this way, "Teach the ignorant as much as you can; society is culpable in not providing a free education for all and it must answer for the night which it produces. If the soul is left in darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness."
The article also spoke of having better ways of "punishing" minor parol violations, instead of re-incarcerating the culprit, "they are making greater use of community supervision for low-risk offenders and employing sanctions other than reimprisonment". Luckily, Utah wasn't on the list of big spenders on prison inmates. Yay Utah!

Confessions of a Housewife

Does anyone else besides me have an adorable five year old for a husband? I love my husband, don't get me wrong, but I have to laugh when he comes to me at 9:30 p.m. and tells me that "tomorrow is my day for treats at work." Ugh. Well, what do you want to make? "How about brownies?" Ok, well, we only have one box. How many people are partaking of said treat? "18". 18!? Alright, well, how about muffins. Ok, so, we start making 5 boxes of muffins, only to find out that we're out of muffin cups and eggs. So, off to the store he goes as I start with whats left of the eggs and muffin cups (which is 1 egg and 8 muffin cups.) Luckily, we work great as a team. Muffins cooked, kitchen cleaned, and us tucked into bed by 10:25 p.m. Voila! Great practice for when the kids grow up to be just like their daddy!

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Confessions of a Housewife

I saw this on another blog, and thought it was a good idea. We housewives lead secret and enchanting lives. Of course today's blog refers to any woman. Today's title: You know you're PMSing if:


1. You get angry at a contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" because they can't answer what, in your mind, is a perfectly simple question.

2. You break down into tears when Wal-Mart hasn't restocked your favorite Pasta Roni, and you know you're not going to be able to go to the store again for like two more weeks.

3. You are willing to turn your husband in to the FBI on trumped up/false charges. (He didn't rinse his bowl! How could he forget to rinse his bowl? How hard is it to rinse a bowl?!?!)

4. You're son says, "Mommy" for no particular reason other than just to say it, and you break down into tears because you're "Mommy", and then you break down again because you're "Mommy."

5. Last but not least: Your husband says innocently enough "At least we only have a few more days of 'this'," referring to your PMSing, and you're ready to smother him with a pillow.

Well, ladies, there are ups and downs in life. Today so far has been an up, but it's only 8 a.m. Oi. Onward and upward I guess.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Last Babble, I promise!

One last little comment. I voted for the very first time EVER on American Idol. That's right. But, because the voting is strictly confidential, and to reveal who I voted for would surely render my ability to vote in future competitions, I will not divulge the number I dialed into my phone last night. However, if you have any sleuthing ability, I'm sure my blog will give you some clues to follow if you're determined to know.

Victor Hugo and the Book of Torture: Part II

Let me just say this, I do enjoy the long winded old bag. I do. Really. And I'm just not trying to convince myself of this, either. I love the detail he puts into the descriptions of mens soul. Have you seen "HOT FUZZ"? Can I just say, Javert reminds me of the main character whose name escapes me at the moment. Hugo writes: "This man (Javert) was a compound of two sentiments, very simple and very good in themselves, but he almost made them evil by his exaggeration of them, respct for authority and hatred of rebellion." It might seem weird that I laugh at that comment, but it does remind me so much of the "HOT FUZZ" man. Back to the point...

The plot development is wonderful, once you get to it, that is. Now, comparing Hugo to my favorite French writer Dumas, I prefer Dumas so far. Same number of pages, yet, Dumas actually has like fifteen sub plots taking place. Hugo is struggling to keep me involved with two. None the less, onward and upward and forward and blah.

Thanks Hugo Lovers of the World!

Thanks for your comments of encouragment. I NEEDED THEM! Here's a little embarassing detail, prepare yourselves, because we all know how often I DON'T embarass myself, haha, yeah right.

Anyway, I thought I had bought the unabridged version. I think I choked on my popcycle when I realized it was the ABRIDGED version. Oy. How can this gigantic, monstrous, wordy novel be the ABRIDGED version. I know not. Alas, I have come to find out there is yet another abridged version. Much shorter and much, much more to the point. But seeing as my goal was to read the whole history of Waterloo through the eyes and endless words of Hugo, I am carrying forward with the supposed "abridged" version I now have. I will do it, mark my words. But don't mark Victors, you'll be dead before you're done.

But, as you will see with my next post, I'm actually over the first of what I'm sure are to be SEVERAL humps, and have moved onward, and upward. Well, at least forward. I'll take the advice of my good work out buddy, and just "break it down" page by page. Normally she says, "Break it down, minute by minute," as I'm trying not to have a heart attack on whatever new machine of torture the West Valley Rec Center has created. Tanya, have you ever considered going into the FBI as a torture specialist? I think waterboarding would look dull indeed compared to your rare form of weight loss and health regiments! Haha, I love you!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Victor Hugo and the Book of Torture: Part I

Victor Hugo wrote this book for the sole purpose of driving me insane. It has been my goal for some time now, like since 9th grade, to read "the classics". I have a long list of novels, biographies, historical accounts etc. that I would like to read before taking the 6 foot dive into the grave. Now, in the course of this vast endeavor, I have strayed and have read books not on said list, and have greatly enjoyed my moments of weakness. Most recently being "The Prince of Tides". Of course, to some, that is a classic, and it has been added to my "must read" list and I am no referring everyone to it. However, as much as I have so far revelled in this great adventure, I am now just as Miserable as one can be.

Really, who takes TWO WHOLE PAGES to describe a juxtaposition of the beauty of two small infants and a cart. A CART, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, he had me fooled. I was enamoured with the Bishop, I absolutely adore him. I felt for Jean Valjean, my heart ached for his bitter contempt with his "raw deal" handed to him in life. But now, as I am to be falling in love with the young Fantine as she ABANDONS her child with random people, I am finding myself sneaking over to my book shelf of past pleasure and questioning whether or not my goal will fail due to the TWO PAGES from juxtaposition hell. Alright, now I'm exagerating. But really. A friend advised the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, never, never give up." I retorted, "Winston Churchill never read Les Miserables. Otherwise it would be: "Never, never, never read Hugo."

Never the less, I'm pressing forward. Onward and upward, page by page. I hope that by next week I'll have a new post "Victor Hugo and the Book of Torture: Part II" filled with words of apology to Monsieur Hugo. Oh I hope, I hope, I hope.

Monday, February 25, 2008


I'm a little slow to post and support David, but here it is none the less. It's awesome that he's from Murray. I don't know him personally, but it's pretty cool. Murray's a pretty small city (or was), and I bet he has everyones support! Take a listen if you haven't already!

It's still shocking to me

I am Elizabeth Bennet!
You are Elizabeth Bennet of Pride & Prejudice! You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.

It still shocks me, this is the second time I've taken the test. Even though Elizabeth is by far my favorite character in any of the Austen novels, and I've always admired her, but I've never felt that I was even close to her character. And to change my character enough to be like her, eh, too much work! Either way, here we are, years later, taking an online quiz that CANNOT be incorrect by ANY means possible, and therefore I AM Elizabeth Bennet. Do you ardently love and admire me now?
Take the Quiz here!

Friday, February 22, 2008

An Ode to Xylitol

If you've ever spent more than an hour with Brett, then you probably know all about Xylitol; in fact he should be paid big bucks for the advertising and promoting he's doing for it! Anyway, I love Xylitol. It's a natural occuring sugar alcohol, it is as sweet as sucrose and only 2/3 the food energy. It doesn't encourage tooth decay, IN FACT, it helps in repairing minor cavities. Soon there will be a vaccine given to all children that will supposedly help prevent cavities all together, with a base of Xylitol. You can find it in the gum Trident, and in other gums as well. Brett and I use Xylitol toothpaste, and our teeth our whiter, we (as in Brett) has fewer cavities, and our breath almost NEVER smells bad, even after waking up in the morning. The toothpaste actually eats the bacteria in your mouth that causes tooth decay. It is the super hero of toothpastes. We also use Xylitol sugar to sweeten things, since it is less fattening and not as bad for your teeth. So, to end the ranting, if you can, find some Xylitol and give it a try. It's great stuff all around. Here's some fun info about it, if you want to learn more...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

TAG! I'm it! I must be a slow runner...

6 Interesting Facts? Oi, I don't think I've got six interesting facts, but here goes...

1. I have a horrible memory. I think this is why I re-read books about a brazillion times (that's a numbe according to a funny joke including Mr. President Bush. Ask me later!) I'm trying a day planner hoping I will remember little things like dates I've said I would do stuff, etc. So far...well...I'm a work in progress.

Dos. I didn't want to get married until I was near 30. Shocking, I know, considering I was married at 18. But, I mean c'mon, it was Brett. I had to snag 'em while I could!

Three: Seceretly (shhh) I want to be a writer. Probably because I read a lot etc. But I don't have the (even now I can't think of the words...) that's it, I don't have the WORDS in me. I have so many characters in my head, some of them you've met, haha, but I just can't bring them to life.

4.'s see...Oh, here's one. I really enjoy working out, unless it's with Tanya, because she scares me. Haha, no actually I really enjoy working out all together. Tanya pushes me, and it's nice, cause I get all sweaty and I really like getting sweaty while I work out cause then I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something! And then afterwards I'm all sore and stiff, and seriously, those are some of the greatest feelings in the world to me!

5. I'm sad when the kids are napping. I miss them. Of course sometimes I'm like "Hallalujah! They're asleep!" But most of the time I just want to go in and wake them up and play some more.

Lastly...I too hate doing the laundry (please see Gillespie post =) But I also REALLY HATE wearing dirty clothes. It's a conundrum. But I do enjoy washing the kids clothes, because they're so little and cute (the clothes AND the kids).

See, not very interesting. I don't read magazines backwards (which is so funny Amber! Now I just want to sit and watch you read one!) I think this would be better if Brett were writing down itneresting things. He's interesting. Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll make him do it. Ok, I tag BRETT and Stephanie about to have a baby Behunin.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Grrrr...I'm so frustrated. Somebody, no names, because frankly I don't know WHO did this, but somebody left a virus as a comment on my blog. Please don't click on it. It is a comment on the "Zoo" post. You can read the other comments, but the one comment that has NO COMMENT, and just says "click here" is a virus. I've tried to remove it, but alas, it will not budge. I'm afraid I've had to change my account settings. But I hope everyone has a nice day anyway!!

Monday, February 18, 2008

The Zoo

Presidents Day rocked! We got to go to the zoo. Here are some fun pictures of our day...
We got to see the baby Giraffe, she was so cute! We got to see the Black Bear, which seems like they are never out. The Elephants were eating, and we got to watch them stuff their faces for like 20 minutes. Brett and I enjoyed that more than the kids. Cohen's favorite part was the Red Panda, again. And Kembry really enjoyed the primates. It was a blast!

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Happy Valentines Day everyone! Hope it's a yummy one with lots of chocolate.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Big News, I've got BIG NEWS!

How could I forget to mention the BIGGEST NEWS of the week? BRETT FOUND MY CELL PHONE! That's right, 8 months missing in action, the little sucker showed up! Can I say, when I saw it's metallic pink glitter forth from behind his back, I nearly cried. OH THE JOY! So please, call me. Anytime. Anywhere. Call me. I just want to hear her sing to me once again.

Blog Hopper

I'm an official blog hopper! I have found a new love of reading peoples blogs, even people I don't know, or know very little. It's fun to see who knows who, and what everyone is up to. So, if you have a blog, watch out, cause I'm gonna read it eventually! And the whole "six degrees of seperation" is interesting as well. I've noticed after navigating far off track from anyone I know personally, I pop into someones blog who I do know, and often times really well. Funny how many people have blogs these days. Here's what I love about blogs:

I love seeing the things people enjoy. I've especially enjoyed Melanie's gratitude messages. I know Mel really well, but I'm still learning things about her, and it's a lot of fun.

I love seeing pictures of people I haven't seen in a long time, or people I've yet to have the opportunity to meet, like little Ashton Snell. It's fun to see how they've changed. I promise to start putting more pictures on mine, but it's difficult what with not having the internet at home and what not. But the more pictures, the better! I love seeing my friends kids, even if I see them every Sunday and during the week, like Tanya and Cody's kiddies.

I love reading peoples opinions. It's fun to hear the "controversial" feelings people have, and not have to directly confront them or the issues. But, if I ever want to, the lovely "comment" features comes in handy. Not that I've used it for that purpose...yet...

I love keeping in touch with friends. Like Stephanie and Carl who moved away. It's fun to see what's going on in their lives. Brett's highschool "best buddy" Jared Day and his way cute wife Jen have a fun blog. We hardly ever get to see them, and we miss them, because they're so much fun. But this way we can sort of keep in touch. I know what's going on in their lives a lot of times, and they know what's going on in ours. And it doesn't make it so that I never want to see them to "catch up". Quite the opposite, it just makes me miss these friends more. Not just the Day's, but all of our good friends. WE MISS YOU!

I love reading those blogs where clearly the writer has a talent for the "blog". Like Wendy, a friend from highschool. She's so flipping funny. I always look forward to reading her new posts.

I especially love seeing all the fun things you can add to your own blog. Like little games, music, calendars, counters, clocks, etc. There's so much stuff out there, so it's fun to hop around and see what there is!

Lastly, I enjoy keeping a blog. I'm not the most dedicated to posts, or pictures, or things of that nature. A lot of times I just don't have anything to say. I'm sort of boring I guess. Or else I think, "Nobody cares about that Kelly, calm down." But, when I do post, it's fun to hear from people in their comments. It's nice to know that there are people interested in the Neff's lives, and it's nice to have this outlet to inform and update everyone to what fun we're having in Mexico, to the condition of the rodents, i.e. kids, what fun we're having generally etc. So thanks for visiting! I'm sure I'll be visiting yours soon!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Getting to bed on time

What with all the frippery, gewgaws and trifles that fill up our daily lives and take away from the more important things, in this case sleep, I decided last night to take a stand. I was tired. Dog tired. I had planned to attend a super enrichment, with a wonderful woman speaking, but I honestly didn't think I could drive (yes, drive, two blocks) up the street. Yet another ostentatious move. Me walk? Haha! I have a car. Along to the point, so, I put the kids to bed early, because if I'm tired, they too must be exhausted. Luckily, this wasn't just wishful thinking. They went straight to sleep. After which Brett and I (here is where it all comes together) put in a DVD in our bedroom. 10 minutes into it, I said to myself, I said "Self, you're stupid." And I agreed. I was exhausted! Why was I watching a stupid video, depriving myself of even one extra minute of delicious slumber?! And so, at 8:54, on the nose, I rested my weary head on my fine pillow and drifted peacefully into some freaky dreams, but that's another blog for another day.
So I'm looking to hire anyone interested in slapping me upside the head when it's getting on to 10:30 at night, and I just want to hang on for one more episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond", an episode I'm most certainly to have already seen.

Monday, February 04, 2008

TAG! I'm it!

Thank you Tanya, for giving me yet another opportunity to talk about myself! Yes!

6. 10 Years Ago...I was 13. I didn't do much except go to school and dance. My best friend was Kayla, we spent most every waking moment together. I was in junior high at Hillcrest Junior High in Murray. I really loved going to Take Five. I had a HUGE crush/borderline obsession with Leo DiCaprio. I had a dog named Jasmine. I lived with my mom and step-dad in Murray. That's about it...

5. Things on todays "to-do" list...Hahaha, funny. I'm updating this one. Different day! Today I get to watch my "cousin" Andy, he's 8 months old. I hopefully get to vote this election. Then I'm going to an awesome enrichment this evening, featuring Emily Watts. Very excited for that.

4. I enjoy...spending time with Brett and the kids doing ANYTHING at all. I love working out with my bud Tanya. I love reading the scriptures and then having Brett explain them to me. I have a new and fantastically addicting love for playing the piano. I can't get enough of it. I really love seeing my kids laugh, I could do that for hours. In fact, I make quite a fool of myself doing this, often.

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire? Travel and spread the Gospel. Maybe it's just with the passing of President Hinckley, but I've felt the urge to share the Gospel. So definately that. Also, I would get all of our family out of debt, I mean, we're talking billionaire. I would build Brett a recording studio and help him share his beautiful music with the world. And I would probably get really fat eating at the Olive Garden all the time. Buy a chateau in France, you know, the usual stuff...

2. 5 Jobs I've had...The very first job was washing dogs and then cleaning up at closing time. That was awesome. The second job was waiting tables in a retirment home. I did that for four years and LOVED it. Then I worked at the Olive Garden AND Meier and Frank. Quit Olive Garden, got a better job at the Church Office Building and quit Meier and Frank. Worked at the Church Office building in the family history department...oh the stories I could share with you...that was awesome. And now I'm a slave to my in-laws working summers for Quality Exterminators. I also work for Franklin Covey and LOVE it. Best co-workers ever. Really, the best.

1. 5 things people may/may not know about me: Um...let's high school I was borderline insomniac. Most everyone doesn't know that except my parents. Two, it's my dream to be in a musical. Unfortunately, it's also my dream to be able to sing. Three, I would love to live in another country with my family. I think it would be really awesome to expose them to a different culture and language and food etc. If I could chose anywhere, I would chose France. Four, um...for the millenium New Years Eve, I wrote a history report and fell asleep. So I actually didn't see "it" happen. Would someone please tell me if the world ended? And finally, five, I really enjoy cooking. Well, if you see me, I guess you would know that by my size. But I love cooking for my family and also for my friends. I especially like to bake and make cookies and brownies and such. Hence, again, the size...hahaha!

Alrighty, let's see, the funnest part is to TAG someone else...someone who will do I think I will tag Jen and Jared Day. Let's see how often they look at the Neff Blog!

Saturday, February 02, 2008


The beginning of January Brett and I got to go to Mexico for a whole week! Here is a picture of Brett, Bradley and Brandon at the airport in Utah at 5 a.m. No resemblence... And to the right is me with my coveted ticket to Houston. Must get to Houston...oh wait, we're going to Mexico...must get to Mexico..
Then we made it, and they actually let Brett INTO another country, I don't know what this worlds coming to. Here we are after going through customs. So happy. And this is where the jealousy comes in...this is a view from our balcony. We were a one minute walk away from the beach. It was so beautiful. We would leave the balcony door open and just sleep to the sound of the ocean. It was awesome!

Here is Brett dreaming of being in Mexico...oh wait, we are in Mexico! Woo Hoo! This is at a little hammock pavilion. They had two of them. You could just go out and relax in a hammock anytime you wanted to.

Here we all are at dinner. The whole restaurant was surrounded in windows, which they left open most of the time. This was our first night there, and it was nice to have the sea wind blowing on us. It was so warm! Plus, this restaurant had the best ever spaghetti pomadoro. It was all fresh tomatos. It was so good! In this picture is Marilyn, Mike, Jon, Sandra, Scott, Shareen, Brandon, and Brett. I don't know where Bradley was...

Here's Brandon and Brett,one of the best things about the trip was all the time Brett got to spend with his two brothers.
Here is Brett being lost in Playa Del Carmen. Not really. No, he never gets lost. And here I am reading The Scarlet Pimpernel on the balcony in our room. It was so warm at night, but tonight I think it was raining. And to the far far right are Me, Brett, Sandra and Jon in a little taco placein Playa. Brett got to eat real good stuff for once. No hamburger helper in Mexico.

Here Brett and I are after snorkling in Xel-Ha. This was the funnest day. We also got to float down the lazy river, ride bicycles, cliff dive, and feed lizards. We weren't supposed to feed the lizards, but you know us Americans, we can never follow the rules...
Here's a picture of how clear the water was

I can't remember if this was at Xel-Ja or
by our hotel. None the less.. beautiful!

Friday, February 01, 2008

Cohen's Star Boy

With Brett working late during the months of December and January, it's always so exciting to be home alone at night with a ghost whispering son. On several occassions, Cohen has pointed in the corner by his drawing easel, and said, "Mommy, I want to play with that boy." "What boy?" I ask, unassumingly. "That boy mommy, that one. I wanna play with the star boy." Well, I finally decided to tell Brett my fear that our son "sees dead people", to which his response is more scaring and teasing me. "Cohen, tell mommy about your star boy," he says, followed by me punching his arm.

Well, on the advice of my co-workers here at FranklinCovey, I decided to ask Cohen what the "star boy" looks like next time he asks to play with him. In response to this question, he goes to his jumbo leggos, picks out the eyes and the mouth painted on yellow square leggos, puts them together, and puts many different multi-colored leggo's on top of that, leaving me with a good version of Cohen's "star boy." Our ghost is a dead leggo boy. I wonder if someone put him in the dishwasher and melted him.

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