Thursday, February 24, 2011


Here are some random pictures from this fall of our backyard.  To the right of all these pictures (not pictured) is the trampoline, gymboree, sandbox, and shed.  This is about half the yard.  (Riding lawn mower included.)

Here is a corner of the yard.  Our backyard neighbors 6 backyards.  If that can give you a clue to how large it is....

Where you see bushes is flower garden.  Just to the left of that is a large vegetable/fruit garden

Aww, here is the trampoline and gymboree.  The gymboree has rubber mulch and a sandbox.  And the trampoline is in-ground.

Stud-muffin whose great with kids is not included.  But that's the shed behind, and the other half of the patio.  It stretches the length of the house.

Here's our sink.  Yay!  Although, it should be noted, we have reverse osmosis water, which is delish.  Especially if you don't like to chew your water.  Magna water, yuck.

Lovely, um...cupboards and a gorgeous slate backsplash.  New counter tops.

New microwave.  We sanded and stained the cupboards a yummy cherry chocolate.  Brushed silver knobs.  Also, just to the right of this is a double oven.  So, if you need three ovens, there you have it.

Next to the fridge, a little extra cupboard and counter top space.

I'll need to find/take pictures of the rest of the house.  But, there ya have it!  Now buy it!  Just kidding...but seriously...


So, if you or anyone you know or your cousins uncles third aunt twice removed's missionary companion from Brazil needs a place to live in Magna, UT, WE'VE GOT IT!

I'm desperate.  Brett...not so much.  He's savvy with renting in AZ until we sell our house here, but I just want to get it over and done with.  I'm so attached to this house and neighborhood and ward...I just need to cut the real estate apron strings or I'll never move on.

Plus, I don't want to move to AZ, and then have to move again.  I'm super lazy like that.

So, here's the low down.  We have a 2000 sf rambler with five bedrooms and two bathrooms and a hukamungous yard.  We've remodeled the bathroom and kitchen and the basement is brand new finished (or will be by the end of the month.  That or my marriage...)  The backyard has an in-ground trampoline, a gymboree, a sandbox, a veggie garden, a rock wall, a HUGE patio and about four bazillion blades of beautiful Kentucky Bluegrass.  My heart is breaking describing it, can you tell?

We'll also throw in the riding lawn mower.


For a limited time offer we'll throw in the drive way!  That's right!  One free drive way!  But WAIT!  If you buy now, we'll even give you the garage, free of charge.

Anyway, if you don't want to buy or can't right now or whatever, we're also willing to rent it.  I just don't want to pay two mortgages a month.  Call me crazy =)  Call me Kelly.  Just call me and tell me you want to buy my house!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My house is in a desperate situation.

If you don't hear from me in a couple of days, it's because my laundry ate me.

Now if I could only find my washing machine......

Monday, February 21, 2011

Remember, Remember

I've been having problems.

Mental problems.

I love my Chubb's, but if she doesn't start letting me get some sleep, I may just forget who she is.  Who I am.  Who anyone is.

When you're completely exhausted, your brain shuts down some unnecessary parts of thinking and living.

For example, typing.  I can no longer type.  It's already taken me 20 minutes and 3 million backspaces to type this much.

For another, to put your wallet back in your purse after purchasing a totally unnecessary shirt.  In Park City (which is approximately 30 minutes up a windy and snowy canyon from my house).

So I forgot my wallet.  After much ridicule from my husband on Saturday, we all got ready to make the trip back up the canyon to get it.  As I was zipping up my coat, he has the audacity to ask me, "Is that what you're wearing?"

Um, you got a problem with what I'm wearing?

Yes, he says.

I look down before I finish zipping up my coat and realize: I'm not wearing a shirt.

Apparently it takes a lot of brain power to remember to wear a shirt, and my cranium just shut that portion down.

Here's to better sleep in Arizona, and remembering to pack my bed...

Kelly Out

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Chubb Chubbs

I can't believe it's "officially" been six months since my Chubby Wubbkins was born.

At six months Chloe weighs in at a whopping 18 pounds!  She's an undetermined number of inches long (we haven't had her six month check up yet) but let me just say this: SHE'S LONG!

She doesn't fit into most 6 months clothes, but needs the larger, longer 9-12 month.

Chloe loves to nurse, nurse, and nurse.  That pretty much sums it up.  Oh, and puke.

She also LOVES family peek-a-boo, and her brother Cohen.   No, no, that doesn't seem to cover it.  Chloe ADORES her brother Cohen.  He only has to look at her, and she starts to giggle.  The kid is charming, but, there's something going on there I don't understand.  JK.

Anyway, if you read my earlier post, you know she's not rolling over, not sitting up, and pretty much plays "lump on a log" like a pro.

She does eat, a lot.  In addition to the butter milk I seem to be pumping into her, she has devoured baby cereal and peas.  Oh, and cream, Jello, spaghetti sauce...and I think that's all for now.  Oh, a sip of coke.  That was funny.

The last six months have flown by.  Three kids is so much fun (and a lot of work), but so worth it.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


How does this:

Turn into this:

And who the heck is this?

It couldn't be her!

And when did this little, new family

Turn into a mommy and daddy of actual kids!?

Lazy Baby

Chloe is a lazy baby.

I love her to death, but she is a lazy baby.

At six months she...

Does not roll over.  Doesn't even try.

Does not sit up on her own.  Doesn't even try.

Does not sleep through the night.  Doesn't even try.

Granted, it's my own expectations that make me believe she should be doing these things.  I blame the first two kids.  It's all their fault for being over achievers.  Yeah, that's it.

It could also be attributed to the fact that her father cannot put her down to save his life.

Ok, I guess I have a bit of a problem when it comes to that too.  She's just so snuggly.

Anyhoodle, I remember being on bed rest thinking, "One day this Pilates instructor inside of me is going to be six months old.  She'll be rolling over and playing and almost's gonna be so awesome, and I won't be stuck on the couch anymore!"

BTW, I'm blogging from the couch.

Well, at least she's out of me and I'm off bed rest and she's...not taking a nap.  Because she wants to nurse to go to sleep.  Sigh.  At least she's out of least she's out of least she giggles.

Kelly Out

But I do absolutely adore her!

From this:

To this:

To this:

To this:

To this:

Friday, February 11, 2011

A Sweet Experience

I once had this friend who purchased a $200 coat.

It was a beautiful coat, I mean, all of us girls were dragging our tongue drooling over it.  And she wore it like she knew it.  It was hot.

And I remember thinking, "I can't imagine spending that much on something for myself."

Not that I wouldn't or couldn't.  But nothing had ever appealed to me on that level.

I thought about this while I was shopping at Ross today.  There was this really cute red and yellow and white eyelet flower dress that just clutched my heart and refused to let go.  It traveled around the store with me in my shopping cart.  It shook it's perfect bosom at me as I eyed other items, reminding me that she was the only one for me.  I knew she was right.

It was just one of those dresses that you know would make you feel pretty.

As I walked up to the front of the store to purchase the gift I had originally gone to Ross to purchase, I hung the dress back up.

It was only $13, and I have been wearing my husbands deceased aunts Sunday clothes for a few years now, and I have lost a significant amount of weight that would warrant this "extravagant" purchase...still...I hung it up.

And I didn't feel bad.  Not at all.  Not in the least.

And it wasn't until I saw the look on Brett's face as I told him about it, just in passing conversation, that I realized what a wonderful experience it was. "Why didn't you get it?"  he asked.  I shrugged my shoulders, "We couldn't afford it.  It'll be there later, I'm sure.  And if not, there will be other dresses."  And I really felt that.  It reminded me of this sweet talk given at GC in April 2009 by Elder Hales.

"The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”"

I felt a sweet sense of approval from my Heavenly Father.  It wasn't about the dress, or the $13, it was about the sacrifice.  And the look of mingled guilt and love on my husbands face made me feel beautiful and wonderful in his eyes, no matter how frumpy I feel in my over sized, monotoned Sunday clothes.  And I love him for that.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Burn, Baby, Burn

We're so sick of the cold and the snow, so we decided...


Yay for 120 degree summer days!  And a husband with a job!  Mostly the latter.  Especially not the former.

PS  Brett hasn't told his parents yet...but since they never read this blog, I'm confident in my announcement.  HOWEVER, for those of you belonging to the Neff family, mums the word, mkay?  I keep telling him to call, but, well, you know men...

*Update, he has told his parents.  It is done.  Amen.

PPS  He totally abandoned me at my dads the other night.  We were supposed to tell him together, but he got away under the "I have Bishopric meetings" clause.  I'm okay with that, but I kept hinting and he just kept playing with my dads new Apple TV.

PPPS  I really need to lay off the post scripts...

PPPPS  We're going to need, like, a whole U-HAUL of sunscreen for me and Cohen.

Chloe SCREAMS For Ice Cream

Last night I made the mistake of eating my ice cream cone within fat chubby arms reach of Chloe.

She grabbed that sucker and went to town.  It was so cute, I couldn't stop her.

But...I did.  And she SCREAMED bloody murder.  For a minute there, I thought I had hurt her somehow.  But now, she grabbed my hands and pulled the ice cream back to her and started all over again.

She ate quite a bit (I know, I'm a horrible mother) and today she has a...cute?...little ice cream mustache rash.  And it's uncomfortable for her.  I rub it and she gets really upset.  Not to mention what her butt looks like...yeesh.

I guess there's a reason they say babies shouldn't eat dairy...

Wednesday, February 09, 2011


I'm back on the wagon...or off the wagon...whatever it is.


These are modern names, of course.

Anyhoodle, because I'm slightly insane and because I was inspired by my cousin Abbie, yet again, I have an "I'm fat come watch me make a fool of myself" blog.

Love you all.

I understand if you never want to speak to me, or feed me, again.

Kelly Out

Friday, February 04, 2011

My Glands and Other Unimportant Matters

I'm 99.999908% sure I have strep-throat.

(The mouth blisters, diarrhea, nausea, headache, fever and total inability to swallow sort of gave it away...)

But thanks to Brett's irrational and unhealthy habit of hoarding antibiotics, I'm not going to the doctors.

Mainly because I don't want to leave the couch in fear of collapsing in a heap of unshowered grossness somewhere public.  Like the doctors office.  Or my driveway.

This is Day 2 of the "Neglect Your Children Marathon", and I have to say, I'm doing quite well.  I've got Brett shipping in some chicken nuggets for lunch so I don't have to drag my sick/lazy butt ten feet to the kitchen to pour them a bowl of cereal.

They're also feasting on American Cheese Singles.  Aww, to be a child and have a gallbladder again.  Those were the days.

I think Mister Death will be searching for me, so if he stops by your place looking, send him on over.

"Dear, it's a Mister Death at the door, he's here about 'the Reaping'?"  "Let him in, let him in."

Name that movie.

Kelly Out

P.S.  On a totally separate and unrelated and pointless note, why are all the cute hair fashions side dues when I have an almost 6 month old that LOVES to pull on my hair?  Bummer.

That movie is "Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life" and it's one of the funniest movies ever.  Thank you and good night.

(That's Post Post Post Script, for those of you keeping track...)
Still no decision on the Arizona/Rhode Island debate.  I have a feeling we'll be going at it for some time...I'm confident I'll win though.  I have the ultimate bargaining power.  Ladies, you know what I'm talking about *wink wink*.  That's right...horrifying hormonal imbalances that could snap at any minute.  Oh, and boobs.

On that note, good night.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Decisions Decisions

Remember a few months back when I was all cryptic about "making big decisions" and "changing my families lives forever" and I didn't say anything conclusive to you?

Like, you could've been thinking I was giving away a kidney or something totally selfless like that.

Or perhaps joining the Marine Corp.

Or maybe putting Kembry in the movies and thus destroying any future of normalcy she may or may not have had with her incredibly gorgeous blue eyes and perfect hair?

Well, nothing so serious.  My husbands job was/has been/is trying to transfer him.

My husband has this ridiculous adventure bone that I keep trying to snap in two but it's just not working.  He wanted to rip me out of my comfort zone called Utah and force me to move to some foreign land called Rhode Island.  It's like, 90% forest and wild animal, and something about bodies of water...all I know is that it's freaking across the entire freaking country.

And so another option presented itself in the form of warm, sunny, beautiful, bleak Arizona.  Arizona where the lizards tan in mid-January.  Arizona, where I'd have to permanently store my winter coat.  Arizona, where the houses cost a fraction of the houses here.  Oh, and of course, Stephenie Meyers lives there.  So, it has a few flaws, but not too bad.

Anyhoodle, my hubband was "officially" offered the job there this morning.  So now we have to "officially" decide if that's what we want to do.


Granted, this freezing cold weather we're experiencing has me slightly biased in pro of Arizona.  Still, I mean, c'mon:

Rhode Island; euw.  Yuck.  Brrrrr.

Arizona.  Yessssssss.

Rhode Island.  Pretty...sure.



I think my decision is made.

Have you relocated?  Are you away from your family?  Give me some direction here, friends.

Kelly Ready-For-Sunny-Days Out
I know babies come with ready made spirits in them.

You wanna know how I know this?

Because no infant can manipulate without having some grown spirit inside them.

And no infant can manipulate like my infant.

She spent the majority of last night in bed with us.  She knows that if she suckles long enough, mommy will pass out back into her coma shortly, and she'll be home free, in bed with us.

I'm still in control.  I'm the one who makes the rules.  NO SLEEPING IN BED WITH US YOUNG LADY!

So...she has an indent in our memory foam mattress.

So...she has a red arm print on her head when she wakes up from laying on my arm.

So...she's currently taking her morning nap on my bed.


Kelly Delusional

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