Tuesday, December 06, 2011

A Broken Back

Unfortunately, I cannot sue Chloe.  I already get to kiss the cuteness outta her, that's all she has to give.

I have a broken back.  Well, more specifically, I have spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease, and a herniated disc that sits on touchy nerves.  It really gets on my nerves *hyuck hyuck*  I kill myself.

And when I go to see the doctor, like every other month, I get the same lecture (while Chloe is bouncing on my lap, ironically):

Dr.:  You really need to stop picking up heavy things, like babies.
Me: *Blank stare*
Chloe: *Drooling* *Bouncing*
Dr.: Try to stay down for a few days.
Me: *Blank stare*
Chloe: *Bouncing* * Squealing* *Gaining another pound*
Dr.: Ice and heat.  But most importantly rest.
Me: *Blank stare*
Chloe: *Jumps off my lap, crawls under the table, starts pulling out plugs.*

I mean, are doctors blind?  What he should have said was, "I see you have a Wiley 28 pound, 15 month old baby.  Let me admit you to the hospital with a regular morphine and steroid drip.  All the cable and hospital food you want.  No visitors.  Three days."


Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!!

And honestly, I don't think it should take 8 years of medical school to get to that conclusion.

Medrol, Vicodin and Flexoril are this weeks best friend.


Kimberly said...

That is shat.
I am so sorry friend.
Are they going to do anything???
I'd say welcome to the crip club since I'm president chairman and CEO but I don't want you in it...not because you're not cool enough but because it sucks.

Neff Family said...

All Hail Queen Kim of the Cripples! Yes, we got the short end of the stick, but I'd say yours is a whole lot shorter =) Love ya!

The Finlinsons said...

Oh! You poor thing! And that's a little ridiculous telling a mother of a 15 month old baby to not pick up her baby. Okay...it may be good advice from a medical stand point...but really? Is it possible?

Neff Family said...

I know, right! And he actually was showing me how to pick things up by bending at the knees. Oy. Some doctors. He must have thought I was really retarded. Feelings mutual, doc, the feeling is mutual.

Jess said...

No good Kelly.... no good.

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