Attention Deficit Freaking Disorder
This is not a real medical disease. However, we claim it for our son. Perhaps we should call it 4-year-old-ism. Perhaps we could just call it Cohen.
One of manifesting symptoms is an actual language. Cohenese. I'm pretty sure it'll be published in a medical journal, soon.
Another is a distinct inability to put on shoes within a 20 minute time frame. The kid could be in a rubber room, with zero distractions, and still manage to take forever.
The 30 minute pee-pee dance and the I-refuse-to-go-while-I'm-playing-which-is-all-the-time attitude is yet another.
I blame the video games and the fact that this disorder is almost certainly a genetic disease, inherited on the Y chromosome.