Too Fast

Where does the time go?  Tomorrow I'll be 28 weeks pregnant with my 4th and final child.

I have two kids thoroughly enjoying a summer vacation before they begin 2nd and 1st grade.

Ok, they're not the only ones thoroughly enjoying summer vacation.  I love having them home.  Mostly, I love not having to wake up, rush to get ready.  Forget lunches.  Take them to school.  Drive back to school with forgotten lunches, homework, backpacks, etc.

I love that they keep Chloe entertained.  I love that they can finally have some time to play with their friends.  To get to spend 2 hours playing video games instead of just 20 minutes.

I love the indentured servitude.  Forcing them to earn their 2 hours video game time ;)

Kembry is writing a book for me about a magical world in her closet called Candy Land, lead by a nice and noble Candy King called Candy Keeper.

Chloe is destroying everything with crayons.

Life is good.  It goes too fast.

27 Weeks

Size of Baby: Kian is the size of a rutabaga.  He's about 2 pounds and 14 1/2 inches long.  And he makes ample use of his limited space, I can tell you.

Total Weight Gain:  I'm up another pound, bringing the total to 3 pounds.  Again, I'm not complaining.  But I'm convinced I just have a lot of extra food storage for my little guy, so he's all set.

Gender:  Boy.  Active and wiggly.

Movement:  Seriously, the wiggliest baby ever.  In history.  Well, my history.

Appointments:  I had my appointment today.  It went well.  I have something called...something.  It starts with an "S" and has other letters attached to it.  I just get dizzy easily.  Not just when I stand up.  When I'm already standing.  Thankfully it's not something I do that often *wink*  It also makes me super tired.  Throw in 400 degree weather, and you have yourself a pretty useless pregnant lady.

Also, I asked if I could possibly take steroids if my back got out of control again.  She said YES!  I wanted to cry with joy.  Hopefully, it won't come to that, but I'm just so relieved.

This baby is measuring small, and I'm carrying low.  I'm measuring about 20 weeks.  She didn't seem concerned, and I have an ultrasound in 3 weeks, anyway.  Plus, I can feel him growing, I know he's definitely getting bigger.

We're going back in 3 weeks, and then we'll start the 2 week appointments since we're at a slightly higher risk of pre-term labor.

Sleep:  Is still not great.  Again, I can fall asleep like a pro.  I just wake up too early and can't go back to sleep.  But my wonderful daughter still takes naps, so I do, too =)  And I have an awesome husband who has been making dinner pretty much every night, which gives me extra time to rest.  Like right now.

What I Miss:  Not much.  I realize all of the discomforts are temporary, and yield such an awesome treasure, I'd be willing to put up with them for a year.  Luckily I only need to worry about them for a few more months.  Woot!  I do miss my energy, and being a full-time mom and wife instead of full-time bed sore.

Cravings: Cafe Rio's pork burrito.  Oh yummy!

Symptoms:  Crazy, weepy hormones.  I don't think I had this bad of a hormone issue with the last ones.  Brett would disagree if he wasn't so afraid of me.

Best Moment of the Week:  Hearing that I can take steroids again if I have to.  Every time I take a step and my back nearly knocks me down with pain, I panic.  And that panic wears me out.  It's a huge relief.  I can't even express it.  Also, tomorrow will be awesome, because it's the last day of schoooooool!  For the kids, that is.

Sibling Rivalry:  My sweet Kembry öfficially" has A.D.H.D.  It breaks my heart and makes me feel happy to be on track to getting her help.  I love her so much.  She's such a great girl, she's so loving and talented.  I see a great future for her!  And possibly a bottle of xanax for me *wink*

For some insane reason I decided to count Chloe's tantrums yesterday.  I did it until 11, because then it just got depressing.  Ironically, she was pretty good after 11, as long as she was on my lap, in my arms, or eating candy.  I mean, carrots.  I only feed her vegetables.

Cohen is starting to try to assert his independence through back talk, but he's terrified of me, so he mumbles it.  It cracks me up.  Today I  helped him straighten his room, and he threw all his books willy-nilly onto his bookshelf.  I told him, "That's not how we put books away.  Try again." And he mumbled, "Don't worry about it."  As I write it out, it doesn't sound that bad of a back talk.  And, honestly, it was a little funny.  But he got a time-out for it.  Might as well nip it now.

But I love my kids.  The more time I spend with them, the more time I want to spend with them.  I feel very little desire to go out on dates (though Brett and I did go to a movie on Saturday.  It was dumb, total waste of our time and money.)  I just want to be with them.  I probably won't feel the same way after 1 week of having them home from school in 105+ degree weather, but hopefully it won't change too much ;)

26 Weeks

Size of My Boy:  Kian is the size of a lettuce head.

Total Weight Gain:  I'll know next Wednesday.  When I'm rounding the third trimester.  What what!  I'm so excited.  I may have tunnel vision, but the third trimester always seems like there is light at the end of that tunnel.

However, I have not been eating well.  And my guilt shows, if not my weight gain.  Seriously, what is in those creamsickles?  Crack?

G-g-g-gender:  Still a boy, as far as I know.  We get to do our 3D ultrasound June 13th.  I would like another shot, just to make sure.  Especially considering I just did 4 loads of little boy clothes.

Movement:  I hope I can always remember this boy and his wiggles.  He is by far the most wiggly baby I've carried.  I love putting things on my belly and watch him kick them off.  Maybe I'll get some video.  He loves hearing Brett's music.  LOVES!  Brett's recording some of his music right now, and when he plays it back, Kian dances like maniac.  Like he's never danced before!  If I set my laptop on my belly, he can kick it off.  Strong boy!  "I think he's gonna be a soccer playa!"

Sleep:  My sleep is actually...well, it's weird.  I can fall asleep, no problem.  In bed, on the couch, in the bath...driving...But I keep waking up earlier and earlier.  If I'm smart, I just get up and deal with it.  If I'm not smart (like this morning) and I stay in bed and toss and turn, and fall back to sleep and wake up about 50 more times, then I'm really grumpy and hormonal the rest of the day.  So even though 5 AM is a wee bit early, I think it's my new wake up time.  Kian will probably be groovy with that judging by how active he is then.

What I Miss:  Being sane.  Having low flow hormones.  Not crying over everything.  Not cramping.  Having round ligaments but not knowing I have them.  Seriously, ouch!  How much more stretching could they possibly need to do?  I've had 3 other children...aren't they already stretched out?

Cravings:  Not healthy food, basically.  Chips, creamsickles, spaghettio's, McDonalds french fries.  Oh my heavens, McDonalds french fries, yes please.

Symptoms:  Headaches.  Bleeding Gums Murphy.  Round ligament aches.  Sore cervix.  Constipation.  I wish I had a protruding naval, but I have a crater for a belly button and it's NEVER poked out before.  Bummer.  Lower back pain, sciatica.  Heat exhaustion, dehydration.  Horrible swelling.  You know, the usual stuff.  All totally worth it.

Best Moment of the Week:  


This Weeks Thoughts:  What's in a name?  My whole family is now using Kian's name, and I love hearing it.  I wasn't sure there for a dark moment.  I want to spell it with a "C", but I'm the only one.  Kian's name isn't even registered on the social security list.  Ok, it is.  It's like 346, or something.  Which is what Brett and I like.  We've only  met a handful of other Cohen's, no Kembry's, but...ack!  Chloe's name is #10 on the most popular, and one of our friends just named her sweet little baby Chloe.  I still love her name, and don't mind, really.  But it's fun to see peoples reactions.  They always tell what cute names our kids have, and I like that.

Their names really fit them.  I think it's interesting that Brett and I always agree on a name (just one, gender specific) before we even know what we're having.  That's usually a good indication of what we are having.  Even when the doctor thought Chloe was a boy.  Brett said, "Yay, I'm excited, but I really liked the name Chloe."  "Me, too!  Bummer!"  Turns out, we got what we wanted.

Same with Kian.  We decided on his name, without knowing what we were having.  We couldn't figure out any girl names we really liked (we were all over the place, I liked Charlotte, he likes Kisha, or something.)  Anyway, what's in a name??  Only that child's entire future.  President Kian O'Connor Neff?  I think it has a nice ring to it...

Sibling Rivalry:  These kids.  I love them to death.  As in, I may strangle them, but love them the entire time I'm doing it.  Ok, not really.  You can't really joke about that these days.

We just found out Kembry has A.D.D.  I feel both validated and sad.  Validated that I'm not crazy and she really is all over the place, and sad because it can't be easy for her.  We have her official appointment on Wednesday, and I'm excited to move forward with helping her.

I have a feeling she'll "grow" out of this, or, learn to deal with it or overcome it.  But in the meantime, I am not averse to medicating her.  And if it doesn't work, or she doesn't like it, or it changes who she is (that's where I draw the line) we'll take her off.  We've managed with parenting styles up until now.  I mostly want to get it worked out so that school isn't so difficult for her (or her future teachers!)  She's doing excellent when it comes to learning.  She's right up there with Cohen.  She could probably surpass him, if she could focus long enough *wink*.

Cohen scored just a few points below the gifted and talented.  I know, we're all so disappointed *rolls eyes*.  Are you kidding me?  That kid is awesome and so smart and wonderful.  He's going to be in a cluster class next year.  I...have no idea what that is.  They explained it to me back in the first trimester.  It did not absorb.  I'm such a good mom!

Chloe has officially started the terrible twos.  She is a tantrum queen.  And you know what's really creepy and cute (at the same time): she has Kembry's exact laugh.  Twilight Zone.  The best treatment for Chloe's tantrums (grandma, pay attention!) is to ignore them.  They get bad.  Real bad.  Thrashing, screaming, head banging, hitting, wailing, gnashing of the few teeth she has...But really, the best thing is to just let her have it.  Ignore her, and then when she stops, open up your arms and give lots of loves and hugs.  And never, ever leave the house.

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me.  Which is hard, because...I don't love emotion.

I don't love to cry.  I don't feel better after a good cry.  I feel worse.  Worse for being "weak", worse because my eyes are swollen and gross.  Worse because I can't explain to Brett why I'm crying (I don't even know why!).

I consider today's wicked headache as the apex of this horrible hormone week, and am determined that tomorrow I will be flying high.  Tomorrow, the sun will rise for me, and  I won't curse it for making me hot and sweaty, and blinding my headache with horrible pain.

Speaking of sweaty, it's going to be 106 today.  Right now I feel cool and comfortable, not moving from my couch.  The shades are drawn, all the fans are going, and my AC is only on 78.  I feel confident that I can make it through the day in the same shirt.

Ha!  Sweat is seriously at the forefront of my mind.  Yesterday I drank 256 oz. of water and only peed once.  My lips were still dry at the end of the day.  I don't know how to stay hydrated in this desert heat.  If 256 oz of cool water can't do it, I really don't know what can, at this point.

I wrote letters to all three of my children last night.  I can't believe how big they all are. Kembry can read and Chloe is talking.  It's all so indecent!

Cohen will be 7 in a few weeks.  SEVEN.  Let that sink it.  SEVEN.  I will be mother to a boy.  Not a little boy.  A boy.  A wet-dog smelling boy.  A boy who wears black socks with shorts, boy.  A boy who thinks farts are funny.

Thankfully I can relive his babyhood once my new little boy is born.  And I will.  Oh, I will.  I'll say things like, "Cohen, when you were a baby, you would do this, too..."  Cohen will love it.  Or he'll pretend to, he's good like that.

In the meantime, in the in-between time, I'm going to take a nap.  And eat some Spaghettio's and another creamsickle.  And probably cry some more.  Why?  No idea...

Waaaaaarm

Some days I almost completely forget I'm pregnant.

Well, not completely, not so much anymore.  I sort of have a HUGE reminder sticking out in front of me.

But some days it's really not at the fore front of my mind.

Other days, however, it's my entire day.

I forget the limits being pregnant sets on my body.  I forget I need to eat often (and healthy).  I forget to drink enough water.  I forget to rest. 

I forget to stay cool.

Ugh.  Even in a mall, I manage to over heat.  I've never had heat exhaustion before, but it is uncomfortable!  And sort of embarrassing.  I don't like security guards mulling over me, watching me drink ice water.  It was awkward, and uncomfortable.

So I'm determined to say cool.  Hence, I'm never leaving the house, which will soon be turned into a giant refrigerator.

Kids, so help me if you open that front door.

And what is with the hormones!

I was apologizing to Brett about how hormonal I've been lately.  His response, "It's okay.  You mostly take it out on yourself."

I'm thoughtful that way ;)

Here's to a cool 97 degrees today!

The Plan

Since I have little-to-no self control, I've concocted a plan to keep my orange cramsicle sucking down to a minimum.

I'm going to throw the wrappers in the same garbage bag every time.  Namely, my bedroom garbage bag, because I don't empty it out everyday. 

This way, every time I go to throw away a wrapper, I'll be reminded of the 40 I've already eaten, feel a huge amount of guilt and self-disgust, finish off the one I've already opened (I don't want to be wasteful) and then not eat another until I've forgotten the aforementioned. 

Whew.  Gonna be a lot of work.  Better start off with a cremesicle.

24 Weeks

Size of Our Little Stinker:  Kian is the size of a grapefruit.  Or there abouts.

Total Weight Gain: 2 pounds.  Not sure how this is even possible, but there you have it.  I am in no way complaining and hope I can keep up this trend.

Gender:  Still a bouncing baby boy!  And I'm super excited because this is the first pregnancy ever that I get to have a 3D ultrasound.  I've never seen what my babies will look like before they're born, and I'm super excited to get a glimpse.  I'm always so amazed at how much the newborns really look like their 3D ultrasounds.  Woo hoo!

Movement:  Oh yeah, he's a wiggler.  I love it!

Sleep:  I'm guessing he gets great sleep.  As for me, I'm becoming more acquainted with the lost sheep of yore.  I tend to wake up every morning, without fail, at 6:35.  It's getting eerie.

Contractions have been keeping me awake.  The discomfort and then the following stress that comes with them.  Will they stop?

What I Miss:  Not having contractions.  It was a nice run.  I lasted a lot longer than I did with Chloe!  I'm not throwing in the towel yet, or anything.  I guess I'm just wallowing because the last few days have been crappy.  But things will look up again!!

Cravings:  Orange-cycles.  Yep, went and bought a 20 pack.  I think I have 12 left.  So long net weight gain of 2 pounds.  Hello fat house!

Symptoms:  I'm already getting a little breathless despite the fact that little whipper snapper is riding super low.  Granted, when one has no torso, where does one carry a baby?  All over, that's where.  So even though he's stretching out my nether regions with all due diligence, I still feel a great deal of pressure on my diaphragm. 

"Why are you breathing so hard?"

"I just peeled an orange...an hour ago."  Ha!

Oh, and totally bizarre, I have (had) canker sours around my back molars, just around the gums.  Super painful.  Great way to diet.

Best Moment of the Week:  Um, having my labor stopped.  Ok, not really the best moment, per-say, but still kind of convenient.  I really enjoyed having a teaching partner on Sunday for Primary (riding solo is no fun after awhile) and she gave an awesome lesson.  I felt like I as in relief society and  I got to decorate a cookie.  Sweet.

Also totally awesome: having totally awesome neighbors.  Seriously, when Brett rolled in Monday night, and we needed a sitter right then, our awesome neighbors totally took the reigns and raised our kids for the night.  She even got Cohen to do his homework and Kembry to clean up the living room.  I love our neighbors. 

Worst Moment of the Week:  Yep, another one.  Spent Monday night in the hospital with stubborn contractions that refused to quit.  I felt comforted knowing that they weren't causing any changes in my cervix, so after the third medication and threats of admitting me, I moved the monitor up.  POOF!  No more contractions.  Ok, I still had some, but there were definitely slowing down to my liking, and that's all that matters.  In all honesty, I would have stayed if I felt there was a need.  I just didn't feel like there was.  Baby was fine, I was fine, and everything turned out okay.  Minus me feeling like I was run over with a dump truck.  And I still have contractions today.  Pooey.  But they're not regular enough for me to worry.  Just uncomfortable enough for me to not do the dishes *wink*.

Because I'm weird, I want to remember my irrational thinking.  When my contractions start getting closer and more regular, I do the most random things.  I try sitting and resting, and if this doesn't work, I try working.  I clean.  I fold laundry.  I make bread.  I take a little walk. I try my hardest to ignore them. Surprisingly, this makes it worse.  Who knew?  So I take a warm bath.  Rub lavendar on my belly.  Do breathing exercises.  After six hours of this, I finally call my doctor.  Why?  Because I'm stubborn and I really hope and think they'll stop.

But you try explaining this to a nurse in the Women's Center, and she all but calls the authorities on my neglectful behind.   Thank heavens I have my handsome husband there to explain to them my stubbornness, and that I really would never intentionally risk the life of my sweet son.  Plus, he's good looking.  Nurses always listen to good looking men.

The nice, totally awesome part about having an irritable uterus:  I can command it to go into labor at 37 weeks.  A quick romp around the neighborhood and BAM!  I'm dilated to a 3.  Okay, so that was with Chloe.  I'm just hoping I get that same pay out this time around.

This Weeks Thoughts:  I'm just so curious to know why I have an irritable uterus.  If we are in fact imbued with all knowledge in the hereafter, I am will be most anxious to find out just what was going on with that particular muscle.

Sibling Rivalry:  I guess I should write this part not after a night like tonight.  Still, it's good to remember the tough times to really appreciate the good times.

I think Kembry is having an adverse reaction to something.  Like manners, and behaving.  She bit a girl at school today.  She has never been a biter.  Or a spitter, or a hitter, or anything un-lady like.  She prides herself on being a lady.  Apparently ladies burp.  Anyway, not only that, but she had a royal tantrum because there was a retirement party for a teacher at her school, and she couldn't go.  Her teacher is dumbfounded.  I'm just dumb.  I can't figure out what's been going on with her poor behavior.  I hope we figure it out, because it can't feel good to keep being told that you're naughty.  I love her too much to keep pounding that into her.

But still, why the heck is she being so freaking naughty?!

Speaking of annoying know-it-alls.  Oh, I wasn't?  Well, Cohen is being an annoying know-it-all.  Luckily I get to just sit back and laugh because it bothers Brett more than it bothers me (lately).  Brett (and his mother) inform me that it's just the age, and all annoyingness will ebb in 10 or so years.  Holy crap, kill me now.

Speaking of darling little angels...Oh, I wasn't?  Because Chloe is absolutely the most perfect, beautiful, sweet hearted little angel in the world.  I just adore everything about her.  I can't understand how I have such a perfect little girl, but I do.  And Brett agrees.  So now it's doctrine.  She's perfect. 

And there you have it.  24 weeks of pregnancy.  A minimum of 13 to go.  Not too shabby.  I think I can make it =)