BTW

Jen posted about this hill-ar-i-ous site called "Seriously So Blessed". You MUST read this if you're a Utah Mormon Mother. Must. Absolutely. That is all.

(BTW, please laugh.)

Hold that thought...

You wanna hear something weird? No? Too bad, you're going to.

I don't feel like blogging today.

Now, stop what you're doing, put down that Diet Dr. Pepper for a moment, and soak it in.

Kelly doesn't feel like blogging today.

What has happened to the world? Is it flying off it's axis as she types, you may wonder. Is the sun hurdling towards us, and in t-minus 8 minutes we'll all be dust in the wind (to be sung reader).

No, everything's fine. I just have a hang over from my heckuva night last night. Coke and ice cream and popcorn and some seriously hard laughing will do that to a person who doesn't get out much.

So I'll pop some Aleve and a couple of Valiums and see where the hallucinations take me, then I'll get back to you with all the millions of things I'm grateful for. Cause I know how much you all must miss it.

Have a lovely day.

Gratitude Day 10

Thinking of things to write about-things I'm grateful for-every day has been a real eye opener for me. Normally, I go through my days with my eyes closed, and my mini-van bumper is direct proof of this. Anyway, Day 10 and the perpetual cloud of gloom is slowly being lifted.

Last night I was reading through a journal I kept when I started dating the husband. I found a lose piece of paper that I had pulled out of one of my school notebooks to scribble down some grateful thoughts that I was feeling very impressed upon at that exact moment, and didn't have my journal available.


I wrote down all the little things I was grateful for. I remember this moment, thinking in my mind how all these things were just amazing, were absolutely wonderful. How blessed we all were that Heavenly Father blessed us with not just nature, but BEAUTIFUL nature. I don't think the leaves HAD to be beautiful to help fertilize the earth, to provide shade, to sing in the wind, but they are. I don' t think flowers had to come in such beautiful colors and smells (except for the bee's of course, picky bee's), but they do. I don't think the sun had to filter through the leaves of the trees and create the most beautiful abstract patterns on the most gorgeous green grass, but it does. I think that all of these beauties in the world, in nature, were given specially to us to just enjoy. And boy do I enjoy them.

The other day the kids and I were taking a walk, and Cohen pointed to the Oquirrah Mountains and said, "Mommy, are we going to climb the green mountain?" And I said, "Well, um, not today kiddo." And he pointed to the Wasatch Mountains and said, "Oh, are we climbing the blue mountains?" My heart melted. I would've packed up those mountains and let him bring them home if I could've!! They looked so beautiful in the setting sun. The green, earthly look of the smaller but almost as beautiful Oquirrah mountains. The steel, blue, granite looking Wasatch mountains. It took a child to open up my eyes. He's amazing. More amazing than the mountains.

So today I'm grateful for nature. I have amazing pictures on a camera that's dead, so you'll have to use your active imaginations. Nature is amazing. It's terrifying, and calming, and amazing. Remember the tornado in '99? Rather, tornado'S? Remember the way the sky clouded over within an hour. Remember the deep, dark, purple and blue that covered the atmosphere? Remember the smell, the rain coming down hard out of nowhere? The hail?Remember how scary and wonderful and awesome it was to watch it all happen. I'm not saying tornado's are cool...okay, I am. That was SO COOL! But remember watching something that most of us had never seen before, and instead of feeling that deep pit of fear that maybe we should've been feeling, we were out with our cameras and video recorders watching it?

Nature is amazing. I'm grateful for the beauty and wonder of it today. I hope you go outside today, breathe in the smell of the last linger of summer. Listen to the leaves sing in the wind. Watch the grass dance. Feel the sweet heat of the sun on your skin. Drink in some much needed vitamin D.

Enjoy.

My weakness cycle: I'm grateful for it dang it!

I know many of you, after reading this, if you can even get through it, will say, "Duh Kelly, we've been on the band wagon for years now, where've you been?" Well, I will tell you: I have been festering in my weakness cycle. Regardless of my late arrival, I'm going to share with you an epiphany I had a little while ago, because...well, I don't know why I'm sharing. I just felt like it, so there. You all have probably already caught on to these things though =)

I am a weak person. The one strength I hold onto is that I recognize this very fact: I am weak. I can pick out my weaknesses. I can say, "Alright, from this day onward, I'm going to strengthen this particular weakness," and then guess what, I do it! I do it so well, that after a time, I become proficient and my old weaknesses turn into great strengths. Then I start to think, "I'm really good at this. I don't need to try so hard anymore. I can relax a little bit and focus on the million other weaknesses I struggle with." And BAM! I relax, I get lazy, my proficiency get's less and less so, and soon my old weakness is my new weakness, and I have to start all over again.

I have read the Book of Mormon. I understand the Pride Cycle, I relate to it very, very well indeed. This is my ultimate weakness: I know what to do, but I struggle daily to do it.

The epiphany comes in here: Man is a natural enemy to God. Some sick joke, but it's true. It's scripture. We all struggle on a daily basis because, well, it's an uphill battle: literally. If you stop for just a moment to catch your breath or stare at a pebble or pick your nose or whatever, it's so much harder to start up again. When you're in the middle of that hill, you just gotta keep goin'. Endurance man, it's something amazing. (Do you remember Sisyphus, always pushing the boulder up the hill just to have it roll down to the bottom, to push it back up again? Yeah, this was meant as a COMEDY people. Sick Greeks.)

But I find great comfort in many things. These thoughts help me wake up every day, help me work on weaknesses that I've already conquered but that need conquering again. Here is one of these thoughts. It's that, though man is a natural enemy to God, God is not a natural enemy to man. He loves us. He recognizes our weaknesses and revels in our strengths and triumphs. And for all of these reasons, He gives us hope. Hope keeps me jogging up my hill.

Second, this wonderful little thing called Eternal Progression. Where would we be without it folks? Burning on the pitchfork, I think. I know that sometime in the pre-existance I made three very important decisions that changed my eternal life. One, I chose to follow our Savior. Two, I chose to come to this earth to receive a mortal body and live out my probation. Three, I have endured thus far. These bodies confound me. All the emotions, the physical limitations and temptations, the spiritual set backs, the mental retardation that I suffer daily. But this mortality also amazes me: the love, the family unit, the growth, the happiness. I know from personal experience that you cannot have the wonderful joy of happiness without the bitter pain of sadness. Eternal Progression. Heavenly Father probably warned us about these confounded bodies, about the limitations and struggles we would endure, but I know that He promised us that we wouldn't have to get it all right during this probation; but that we would have Eternity to get there. Eternity. I'm comfortable with that thought. It's like the endless test in Calculus, and you can use notes, and ask for help, and if you make a mistake, it's all good.

Third, I have a great comfort in knowing that our Savior suffered all the same things that I'm suffering. He was a mortal. Though He was perfect, He was still human, and at that time He too was a natural enemy to God. He suffered sadness, betrayal, anger, frustration, all of it. He tipped over the money-changers tables, He snapped at his disciples, He got frustrated with the Jew's for just not listening to the obviousness, He cried, He begged, He died. He was mortal. But He did it. He did it for me, personally. I'm not one of those people who say, "I'm not going to be a sinner because I don't want the Lord to suffer more." It's not like that to me. He suffered, it's over, and now He comforts the way his Father comforted him. He comforts and forgives and sets an example for us for any and every situation that presents itself and we say, "I just don't know what to do here." Well, let's get cliche. What would Jesus do? Seriously. I think this a lot, but I don't say it out loud. Not because I'm ashamed, but because truly it is a cliche that has been taken a bit far. I think of what He would do, and I try in my pathetic mess of a life to emulate that example. I try, and fail, and try again, and that's ok. Eternal Progression.

I think I get the picture. Now if only I could remember it next time I'm working on my visiting teaching, or my calling, or being a wife or a mother or a daughter or a friend or simply as a child of God. I hope because Heavenly Father gave me that most important of gifts. I hope because when all is said and done, I'm human, and without it, there's no reason to press forward.

Onward and Upward! (Dang hill!)

Gratitude Day 8

I was reading Wu's obit for the ten thousandth time and a swell of gratitude rose up inside of me. Let me esplain...

What I'm saying is I was raised Catholic. Not CATHOLIC CATHOLIC, like, "Let's go to Catholic church today honey 'cause we're Catholic." Rather, when I went to funeral it was to mourn, and when I went to a baptism it was...well...to mourn. "Poor kid, he's gonna die in sin anyway."

Life is different when faith is involved. Death is different. And I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that we knew Wu was dying. That we knew she was in pain and that it was "only a matter of time." Personally, I think it does help. It helps you prepare for the blow. It helps you for that 3 am call. It wasn't "Oh my goodness, whose calling at 3 in the morning?!" It was, "Brett honey, wake up. She's gone." And I didn't even have to answer the phone to know who was on the other end.

But the point of ALL OF THIS rambling is that I am grateful to know the truth about life and death. I'm grateful to know that men (and hot hot women like myself) were sent here to have joy. And that after that, we go to Heaven, where there is more joy. Where I know Wu is right now, with her mom and dad and nephews who didn't need the world to prove them sinless and wonderful. I know she's there, and I'm grateful to know that.

Don't get me wrong. I've broken down and balled. Curled myself up with the plunger I know so well next to my stinky toilet. But what a comfort to know that with all of that pain those who are left behind get to experience, Wu, who was in the most pain of all, is at peace.

Susan's Funeral Pictures

I'm finally posting pictures of Wu's funeral. It was a very beautiful, very sad day. I hope these pictures help those of you who couldn't be there. We missed you.

After the burial, we went to Wu's favorite restaurant, Rafaels. The memorial was held at the high school where Wu worked. It was beautiful.

We miss you, Wu.

Gratitude Day 8

I was reading Wu's obit for the ten thousandth time and a swell of gratitude rose up inside of me. Let me esplain...

What I'm saying is I was raised Catholic. Not CATHOLIC CATHOLIC, like, "Let's go to Catholic church today honey 'cause we're Catholic." Rather, when I went to funeral it was to mourn, and when I went to a baptism it was...well...to mourn. "Poor kid, he's gonna die in sin anyway."

Life is different when faith is involved. Death is different. And I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the fact that we knew Wu was dying. That we knew she was in pain and that it was "only a matter of time." Personally, I think it does help. It helps you prepare for the blow. It helps you for that 3 am call. It wasn't "Oh my goodness, whose calling at 3 in the morning?!" It was, "Brett honey, wake up. She's gone." And I didn't even have to answer the phone to know who was on the other end.

But the point of ALL OF THIS rambling is that I am grateful to know the truth about life and death. I'm grateful to know that men (and hot hot women like myself) were sent here to have joy. And that after that, we go to Heaven, where there is more joy. Where I know Wu is right now, with her mom and dad and nephews who didn't need the world to prove them sinless and wonderful. I know she's there, and I'm grateful to know that.

Don't get me wrong. I've broken down and balled. Curled myself up with the plunger I know so well next to my stinky toilet. But what a comfort to know that with all of that pain those who are left behind get to experience, Wu, who was in the most pain of all, is at peace.

The Brett Stats: Gratitude Day 7

Brett Ratner:


High powered producer. Famous for Prison Break. Needs a hair cut and a hot shave.

Brett Favre:


Football player. Retired. Football player. Very, very, handsome, even when he's not holding a ball.

Brett Scallions:


Abandoner of Fuel. My favorite singer. Hotty with a naughty body. Did I just say that? Yes, yes I did.

Brett Neff:


Husband, Father, Son, Brother. Hard worker, passe student, amazing musician. Mopper of kitchen floors. Cooker of delicious dinners. Sweetest Daddy. Best Kisser. Greatest man in the world.

Gratitude Day 6

Today is a double header folks. I'm grateful for late night movies and the good friends who join me each time!

Every once in awhile, I just need a fun time out from the house. These times generally come around 9:45 p.m. at a movie theater with my best friend, Tanya. We both have two little monkeys (a third on the way for Tanya!) and so late night is the only time we have. What does one do at 9:45 p.m. you may ask. Or you may not, considering I've already told you. We go to the movies.

Last night, however, I got to go with a new friend. I had so much fun! It lifts my spirits and gives me that much needed dose of estrogen. It's the greatest having people in my life that relate to me, that "get me", that don't go screaming and waving their hands in the air after I speak. For these friends, I am grateful.

And for these movie nights, I am grateful. Mostly we see chic flicks, cause those are the ones the hubbies don't care that we see; and they're the ones we relate to at those particular times because we're usually really chicky on those nights. I love stopping at Zomba Juice and getting a yummy orange energy drink and then have Tanya hide it in her vintage Old Navy purse for me because I drink cold things slow, and because she's the bestest friend in the world.

Mostly though I just love those few hours I get to spend with my friends. We spend time together aside from this, but this is our time. No kids (except the one in Tanya's belly) no husbands, no laundry. Just us.

I am SO grateful for these nights. I think I need another. Waddya say Tan, pick ya up at 9?

Gratitude Day 5

Today I'm grateful for (That's health. In honor of my cousins return from Japan...um, this is Chinese...sorry Carrie. You don' thave the smartest cousin on the block.)

Since January or so I have been sick. Then the gallbladder surgery. Then the recovery. For about three days after that, I felt FANTASTIC. I was running up the walls and jumpin' off the roof and quilting and baking cookies. Ok...maybe not all that. Anyway, the health went downhill after that sweet glimpse of happy life, and hasn't quite made it's way back up. I'm grateful when my body is in it's homeostasis and feelin' fine.

I'm grateful that my husband is perfectly healthy and able to work, go to school, come home and take care of me and the monkeys. He cooks, he cleans (occasionally) and he babies me almost as well as my own mother, and still has time for homework and Guitar Hero and Mario Carts.

I'm grateful that my children are healthy. They're healthy eaters, they're healthy players, they're healthy sleepers. They're always healthy at their check-ups (despite Kembry being extremely under weight; she eats everything in the house and then some, I'm not sure where it all goes! We call her Bermuda Butt.) Anyway, there was a time when both of them were sick to the point of hospitalization, and that was so horrible. But since then, they're both so healthy and happy, I truly couldn't ask for anything more.

I'm grateful that though I'm sick now, I know I'll regain my health eventually. I'm grateful for a friend that struggles through a life threatening disease and still manages to be grateful for the health she has despite it all. She's an amazing example. I should have included her in day 1, she's so awesome.

I'm grateful for the Word of Wisdom, that for medical reasons instead of faithful reasons, I've had to follow fairly strictly for sometime now, to an extreme. I wonder how people can be anorexic...it's really beyond me. I'm so hungry I'd eat my own arm if it wouldn't make me sick as a dog. Of course, my arm isn't as meaty as it once was...let me consider this for a moment.

Brett and his radio tell me that in 30 years, a healthy person will live one extra year for every year they live. Um...does that sound like immortality to anyone else? In 30 years I will be 54. I honestly hope that isn't true in 30 years. Regardless, I plan on being healthy at least by my 51st birthday, so we'll see how that goes!!

So today, because I'm feeling fairly well, I am grateful for my health and the health of my family. These bodies truly are miraculous things, if you think about it for a sec..............see what I mean? Amazing, huh?