The other day I looked at Kembry and thought, "Sheesh, you are getting fat!"
Then I realized the outfit she was wearing was 4T. She's nearly 6. Such a sweet mother I am!
Soooo, I went on over to the Old Navy and purchased a billion shirts, some shorts, some shoes and a dress. Spent a total of $60, it was awesome.
When we got home I made her do a fashion show for me. Turns out, 6T is waaaay too big. So now I get to go and exchange a billion shirts and some shorts. And poor Kembry was so excited to finally have clothes that fit.
Mother of the Year here.
Friday, June 29, 2012
32 Million Weeks Pregnant!
Size of Kian: According to thebump.com, Kian is the size of a squash. I think he's about the size of a 40 pound toddler, but I'm biased.
Total Weight Gain: Holding strong at 6 lbs gain. HOWEVER, I feel much, much bigger. I mean, I feel like I've gained 60 pounds. I feel huge. I feel fat. I feel all jolly. Ok, not really on the jolly part.
Gender: Still a fella. Just got my little man a manly manly car seat cover. I guess he probably doesn't want to be toting around in the pink one. Boys. Psht.
Movement: It's getting slightly uncomfortable. He loves my cervix, just like Chloe. He's grinding whatever body part into it daily. I love how I can feel his little limbs now. I love pushing them down, and having him push them back. I think we're playing. He's probably just annoyed I keep moving him. Mothers.
Sleep: My doctor gave me Ambien and I hate it. My problem isn't FALLING asleep, it's STAYING asleep. Ambien knocks me out like a heavy weight loser, but I'm still up at 3 and 4 in the morning. Only, if I take an Ambien, I'm exhausted the rest of the day. Sooo, I'm giving up on the idea of sleep for a few months.
Symptoms: Holy contractions batman. I'm having them, or they're having me, I'm not sure what. I'm on medication (for the contractions, not the schizophrenia) and most days it helps. It makes me super dizzy and nauseas (it's blood pressure medicine, and I already have fairly low blood pressure, so you can imagine.)
My house and my children are being effected badly, but I don't care, well, more like I can't care. I'm thinking I may just need to hire a maid the day I hit 36 weeks 6 days. She can get it all nice and clean and then I can happily go into labor.
I'm also having the usual: pelvic pain, acid reflux, headaches, dizziness, swelling. My fingers and hands are falling asleep. My wedding ring doesn't fit most days. My lips and nose are swollen. I feel like I have nine chins.
What I Miss: Sleep. Sleep. Aaaaand sleep. I should say I miss cleaning, but I don't. I miss the house being clean. I miss holding Chloe whenever I want. I miss having lunch with my girlfriends without breaking out into contractions.
Cravings: CHOCOLATE!
Best Moment of the Week: I had to go in early because of my contractions, but I was comforted that I wasn't quite a "finger tip". I love doctor lingo. This is almost exactly where I was with Chloe. By 35 weeks I should be a 2. By August 2 I should be pushing this baby out. Hahahahahaha! All according to my will. Psht, yeah right. This kid will probably hold on until 42 weeks.
That's ok. He'll be here before I know it!
Sibling Rivalry: My prayers have been answered and my children are returning to normal-ish. Well, possibly because I'm returning to normal-ish. I feel a bit more normal now, anyway. We'll see how long that lasts!
Monday, June 25, 2012
How I Know Heavenly Father Answers Prayers
(Loooong post)
"O, Remember, remember..."
One of the most important things about prayers being answered is first remembering, and then showing gratitude. I assure you I have done both.
Last week was a baaad week for me. And, subsequently, for my kids. And, subsequently, for my husband. Let's not even get into what it did to my personal hygiene.
I spent many hours in my scriptures searching for peace. Several pages of heated writing in my journal. It wasn't until I finally folded my arms and bent my head in humble agony and begged for peace and release from my struggles, that I found comfort.
I'm going to tell you what I prayed about, because it fascinates me how Heavenly Father answered those prayers.
First, I prayed that my husband would be more supportive. That he would do more around the house. That he would be more present.
The answer in my mind was that Brett would come home, tell me to go to bed, would clean the entire house, make dinner, play with the kids, and put them to bed. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
My answer came in the form of a friend of mine. Maybe she heard something in my not-so-subtle post on FB lamenting my woes (I may have said something like, "Kill me now..." I'm not altogether sure...) but the next day she said, "I'm coming over. What's your poison?"
What amazes me about her support was that the day she came over was also the anniversary of the birth of a child she later lost. She came over and gave me comfort on a day that she really deserved it. I hope I reciprocated.
The answer to my prayer came as we talked about our spouses and marriage. She told me about her husband (who sounded incredibly like me) and about herself (who is a lot like Brett) and as I was listening to her, I realized I was listening to what Brett would possibly say about me. If he was a chick and talked about such things.
I love my friend. I think she's amazing. And so I felt horrible as I listened to her. I felt like everything she said was something Brett could equally complain about. I started to appreciate everything he did for me, for our kids. He's by far one of the most amazing men I've ever known, and I was so down in my own dark depression that I didn't stop to think that maybe he was having a bad week. Maybe he needed a little service.
I was humbled.
I hurried and hopped online as soon as she left and shot out an email telling him I was sorry for the previous email I sent (I'm sure you can imagine what it said) and I told him all the things I should have said in the first place. Later, he told me how amazing it was, the turn around, the difference in tones. I think he could feel the Heavenly help I was receiving through reading that email.
I had also prayed that Heavenly Father would take away my crazy emotions. That He would make my thoughts stable. That He would slow my anger.
Basically, I just wanted him to take it all away. The perfect answer.
How the answer really came...
Later, that same day, as I was about to finally put Chloe to bed and lay down myself and let Cohen and Kembry have their way with the house, Cohen said, "What about swimming?!"
Oh snap. That's right. We go swimming on this particular day. Physically, I was not feeling up to it. Emotionally I was doing a little better. I stood there and wavered, and the Spirit whispered to me, "Go." I argued back, said that it was 111 degrees and I was an exhausted 31 week pregnant lady on the brink of insanity.
The Spirit whispered to me, "Go."
So, we went. It's no easy task taking 3 kids swimming alone. The sunscreen, the towells, the pool bag, the screaming, very tired toddler. But we went.
And again, I lamented to a friend.
I told her how crazy I felt this pregnancy.
She said she was crazy with all five of her pregnancies.
I cried about how much I cry. About how I yell at my kids all the time.
She told me that her brother, who is a psychologist, read an article that showed a woman on hormones has the same brain activity as a schizophrenic.
I don't know why this comforted me. But it totally did.
I told her my biggest secret of all, because it all just came pouring out. I said it out loud for the first time. I told her how I just didn't feel connected to "this baby". The fact that I even call Kian, "this baby" makes me break down into tears. What was wrong with me? How could I be so horrible? When I think about this pregnancy, I just want it over with already. I want my body back. My energy. My sanity. I think about the affect it's having on my marriage, on my relationship with my children. I hardly ever think about holding my sweet son in my arms for the first time.
She told me she didn't connect with any of her five babies. Not really until they were a few months old.
We left swimming and again, I was humbled.
The rest of the day was not perfect. The rest of the weekend, I yelled. I cried. But I also tried harder and I also remembered my prayers being answered. I shared with Brett my experience. I think he was as amazed as I was to see the Lord's work.
I cannot express the joy I felt knowing that Heavenly Father heard my cries. And how well He knows me, to go about sending angels in my life to help answer my prayers. Not at all the way I thought they should be answered. But in a much, much better way.
I am a Daguther of my Heavenly Father, who loves me...
I hope this helps anyone out there having a rough Monday. Take a moment, kneel down, pray. And then wait patiently and lovingly, knowing that your Father knows you better than you know yourself, and that you are surrounded by angels.
"O, Remember, remember..."
One of the most important things about prayers being answered is first remembering, and then showing gratitude. I assure you I have done both.
Last week was a baaad week for me. And, subsequently, for my kids. And, subsequently, for my husband. Let's not even get into what it did to my personal hygiene.
I spent many hours in my scriptures searching for peace. Several pages of heated writing in my journal. It wasn't until I finally folded my arms and bent my head in humble agony and begged for peace and release from my struggles, that I found comfort.
I'm going to tell you what I prayed about, because it fascinates me how Heavenly Father answered those prayers.
First, I prayed that my husband would be more supportive. That he would do more around the house. That he would be more present.
The answer in my mind was that Brett would come home, tell me to go to bed, would clean the entire house, make dinner, play with the kids, and put them to bed. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
My answer came in the form of a friend of mine. Maybe she heard something in my not-so-subtle post on FB lamenting my woes (I may have said something like, "Kill me now..." I'm not altogether sure...) but the next day she said, "I'm coming over. What's your poison?"
What amazes me about her support was that the day she came over was also the anniversary of the birth of a child she later lost. She came over and gave me comfort on a day that she really deserved it. I hope I reciprocated.
The answer to my prayer came as we talked about our spouses and marriage. She told me about her husband (who sounded incredibly like me) and about herself (who is a lot like Brett) and as I was listening to her, I realized I was listening to what Brett would possibly say about me. If he was a chick and talked about such things.
I love my friend. I think she's amazing. And so I felt horrible as I listened to her. I felt like everything she said was something Brett could equally complain about. I started to appreciate everything he did for me, for our kids. He's by far one of the most amazing men I've ever known, and I was so down in my own dark depression that I didn't stop to think that maybe he was having a bad week. Maybe he needed a little service.
I was humbled.
I hurried and hopped online as soon as she left and shot out an email telling him I was sorry for the previous email I sent (I'm sure you can imagine what it said) and I told him all the things I should have said in the first place. Later, he told me how amazing it was, the turn around, the difference in tones. I think he could feel the Heavenly help I was receiving through reading that email.
I had also prayed that Heavenly Father would take away my crazy emotions. That He would make my thoughts stable. That He would slow my anger.
Basically, I just wanted him to take it all away. The perfect answer.
How the answer really came...
Later, that same day, as I was about to finally put Chloe to bed and lay down myself and let Cohen and Kembry have their way with the house, Cohen said, "What about swimming?!"
Oh snap. That's right. We go swimming on this particular day. Physically, I was not feeling up to it. Emotionally I was doing a little better. I stood there and wavered, and the Spirit whispered to me, "Go." I argued back, said that it was 111 degrees and I was an exhausted 31 week pregnant lady on the brink of insanity.
The Spirit whispered to me, "Go."
So, we went. It's no easy task taking 3 kids swimming alone. The sunscreen, the towells, the pool bag, the screaming, very tired toddler. But we went.
And again, I lamented to a friend.
I told her how crazy I felt this pregnancy.
She said she was crazy with all five of her pregnancies.
I cried about how much I cry. About how I yell at my kids all the time.
She told me that her brother, who is a psychologist, read an article that showed a woman on hormones has the same brain activity as a schizophrenic.
I don't know why this comforted me. But it totally did.
I told her my biggest secret of all, because it all just came pouring out. I said it out loud for the first time. I told her how I just didn't feel connected to "this baby". The fact that I even call Kian, "this baby" makes me break down into tears. What was wrong with me? How could I be so horrible? When I think about this pregnancy, I just want it over with already. I want my body back. My energy. My sanity. I think about the affect it's having on my marriage, on my relationship with my children. I hardly ever think about holding my sweet son in my arms for the first time.
She told me she didn't connect with any of her five babies. Not really until they were a few months old.
We left swimming and again, I was humbled.
The rest of the day was not perfect. The rest of the weekend, I yelled. I cried. But I also tried harder and I also remembered my prayers being answered. I shared with Brett my experience. I think he was as amazed as I was to see the Lord's work.
I cannot express the joy I felt knowing that Heavenly Father heard my cries. And how well He knows me, to go about sending angels in my life to help answer my prayers. Not at all the way I thought they should be answered. But in a much, much better way.
I am a Daguther of my Heavenly Father, who loves me...
I hope this helps anyone out there having a rough Monday. Take a moment, kneel down, pray. And then wait patiently and lovingly, knowing that your Father knows you better than you know yourself, and that you are surrounded by angels.
HEAVENLY HANDS
Afraid and wandering, we lost our way.
With no aid in sight, we began to pray:
“Please keep us safe in such hostile lands,”
Then came the warm touch of Heavenly Hands.
Perhaps one on our shoulder when we felt alone,
While another pointed the way which then led us home.
The help came unseen like the wind as it blew,
But we all felt it upon us, and that’s how we knew;
That angels still watch and sometimes send us a “rose” –
A gift to remind us that Heaven still knows
All that we go through and all that we need.
Surely Heaven is with us, if we’ll only give heed.
Greg Olsen - 2001
Afraid and wandering, we lost our way.
With no aid in sight, we began to pray:
“Please keep us safe in such hostile lands,”
Then came the warm touch of Heavenly Hands.
Perhaps one on our shoulder when we felt alone,
While another pointed the way which then led us home.
The help came unseen like the wind as it blew,
But we all felt it upon us, and that’s how we knew;
That angels still watch and sometimes send us a “rose” –
A gift to remind us that Heaven still knows
All that we go through and all that we need.
Surely Heaven is with us, if we’ll only give heed.
Greg Olsen - 2001
Saturday, June 16, 2012
28...30...Oh However Many Weeks I Am Now!
Size of My Kian: On Wednesday, he should be the size of a pineapple. And I'm just about as comfortable as if I had a pineapple in there!
Total Weight Gain: Sigh, it was inevitable. I had to gain weight eventually. I mean, he weighs close to 3 pounds, so there's that. I have gained 6 pounds. However, my hips have grown 6 inches. As have my boobs. I feel like I'm already sporting around the porn star look.
Gender: He's still a boy, although we didn't get to see his boyhood on the ultrasound like I was hoping. I'm not too worried. But if he comes out a girl and I have to do a whole bunch of laundry out of nowhere, I might be a little bitter. For like a second. Maybe I'll make Brett do it...
Movement: There's a party going on in my uterus, and I wasn't invited. He moves a lot in his sleep, as we found out in our 3D ultrasound. It was so cool to see him wiggling around. Then the technician gave him a little alarm-wiggle, so to speak, and he woke right up.
Why am I awake? Don't I have enough going on, now I have to be awake too?
Appointments: We're at the two week appointments. I'm excited. I think every pregnant woman feels like that marks the beginning of the end. The light at the end of the tunnel. I wonder if Kian feels the imminence of his arrival?
Sleep: I get tired just thinking about it. Sleep did not come easily in Utah. Sleeping on a blow-up mattress for a week will do that to a person. Especially a very pregnant person. I've slept better in my own bed, of course, but still I get up every few hours to pee or to worry or to think.
Over the years I've gotten pretty good at turning off the thinking, telling myself it does no good to dwell on things I can't change at 2 in the morning.
I think the lack of sleep has been the main cause of my grumpiness. I feel like I'm grumpy all the time. Brett would say otherwise, because he's afraid for his life. Smart man. But everything is annoying me. I've been a real peach to be around lately ;)
What I Miss: Sleep. This part shouldn't come after the "sleep" portion. It's all I can think about now. *Yawn* Is it nap time yet?
Cravings: CHOCOLATE! Which would explain the extra weight I gained all the sudden! Also, McDonalds french fries with a large coke. And last night: hot chocolate. And this morning: cinnamon buns. Pregnancy cravings are crazy. I mean, not the stuff I crave, just how incredibly powerful that craving is!! I must have it!
Symptoms: I have been struck with 3rd trimester nausea. But I'm also hungry all the time. It's really sucked!
I've been having contractions on and off. I don't know if it's just because I know what to expect or what, but I'm not as nervous about them as I was with Chloe. I just stay home and deal with the discomfort. Sometimes I start to time them. Sometimes they pick up in speed and sharpness, with noticeable peaks and drops. Like yesterday. But I just lay down and rest and pray, and then they slowly stop.
It's still annoying, "Do I go in? Do I not?" I've spotted twice, but nothing came of it, so I didn't worry. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to low my mucus plug, which makes me worry a little bit. Whenever I walk and get discomfort "down south" I worry that I'm loosening things up even more. So I'm sort of walking around on egg shells. Which reminds me, I need to sweep the kitchen floor.
Best Moment of the Week: Definitely Kian's ultrasound. It was so cool and so creepy. We watched him snuggle with his foot, scratch his nose, yawn and blink. It was really creepy seeing his eyes open.
He blinks in this video.
He yawns at the very end in this one.
Cutest fetus. Ever!
Sibling Rivalry: I knew that letting the grandma's at them would spoil them rotten. I knew it would take weeks to unspoil them. Still, they have turned into little brats! Where are my sweet, rule abiding, chore finishing children? If you see them, please send them home. My sanity needs them back.
Where I Been At and Other Unimportant Matters
Well, we done did take our summer trip to Utah last week. Remember that trip? The one where I was going to bask in their 80-90 degree weather all summer?
Yeah, we were there for a week. One lousy week.
Stupid money-making job of that husband of mine.
But I can't complain too much. The time we spent there was wonderful.
First of all, when did Utah turn into a verdant rain forest? Seriously, it was the greenest place I've ever seen...compared with the bleak desert I live in now.
Don't get me wrong, I love our new desert home. Heat and dirt devil storms and Havalina's and all. Oh my.
We did everything and nothing. We stayed up late with old friends playing games. We went camping and played in a river and ate hot dogs and s'mores (I will now admit that it was the FIRST s'more I've ever eaten, because, it is the FIRST s'more I've ever wanted to eat. I blame the fetus.) I'd also like to note for future generations that I set up the tent and blew up the mattress and made our beds entirely by myself.
We spent a lot of time with Brett's good friend, and I'm grateful we got to. He's having a rough time in his life right now, and it's been really hard being so far away, not being able to be there with him and for him.
We visited with family, we ate at Cafe Rio (although this was hardly novelty, there is a single Cafe Rio 20 minutes away from us in AZ.)
It was awesome. I took no pictures.
When we got home, we had some visitors stay with us all the way from Colorado for three days. It was a lot of fun. I'm tired, but happy.
And now...I rest. And bake my baby. I'm good at bakin' babies.
Yeah, we were there for a week. One lousy week.
Stupid money-making job of that husband of mine.
But I can't complain too much. The time we spent there was wonderful.
First of all, when did Utah turn into a verdant rain forest? Seriously, it was the greenest place I've ever seen...compared with the bleak desert I live in now.
Don't get me wrong, I love our new desert home. Heat and dirt devil storms and Havalina's and all. Oh my.
We did everything and nothing. We stayed up late with old friends playing games. We went camping and played in a river and ate hot dogs and s'mores (I will now admit that it was the FIRST s'more I've ever eaten, because, it is the FIRST s'more I've ever wanted to eat. I blame the fetus.) I'd also like to note for future generations that I set up the tent and blew up the mattress and made our beds entirely by myself.
We spent a lot of time with Brett's good friend, and I'm grateful we got to. He's having a rough time in his life right now, and it's been really hard being so far away, not being able to be there with him and for him.
We visited with family, we ate at Cafe Rio (although this was hardly novelty, there is a single Cafe Rio 20 minutes away from us in AZ.)
It was awesome. I took no pictures.
When we got home, we had some visitors stay with us all the way from Colorado for three days. It was a lot of fun. I'm tired, but happy.
And now...I rest. And bake my baby. I'm good at bakin' babies.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Too Fast
Where does the time go? Tomorrow I'll be 28 weeks pregnant with my 4th and final child.
I have two kids thoroughly enjoying a summer vacation before they begin 2nd and 1st grade.
Ok, they're not the only ones thoroughly enjoying summer vacation. I love having them home. Mostly, I love not having to wake up, rush to get ready. Forget lunches. Take them to school. Drive back to school with forgotten lunches, homework, backpacks, etc.
I love that they keep Chloe entertained. I love that they can finally have some time to play with their friends. To get to spend 2 hours playing video games instead of just 20 minutes.
I love the indentured servitude. Forcing them to earn their 2 hours video game time ;)
Kembry is writing a book for me about a magical world in her closet called Candy Land, lead by a nice and noble Candy King called Candy Keeper.
Chloe is destroying everything with crayons.
Life is good. It goes too fast.
I have two kids thoroughly enjoying a summer vacation before they begin 2nd and 1st grade.
Ok, they're not the only ones thoroughly enjoying summer vacation. I love having them home. Mostly, I love not having to wake up, rush to get ready. Forget lunches. Take them to school. Drive back to school with forgotten lunches, homework, backpacks, etc.
I love that they keep Chloe entertained. I love that they can finally have some time to play with their friends. To get to spend 2 hours playing video games instead of just 20 minutes.
I love the indentured servitude. Forcing them to earn their 2 hours video game time ;)
Kembry is writing a book for me about a magical world in her closet called Candy Land, lead by a nice and noble Candy King called Candy Keeper.
Chloe is destroying everything with crayons.
Life is good. It goes too fast.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
27 Weeks
Total Weight Gain: I'm up another pound, bringing the total to 3 pounds. Again, I'm not complaining. But I'm convinced I just have a lot of extra food storage for my little guy, so he's all set.
Gender: Boy. Active and wiggly.
Movement: Seriously, the wiggliest baby ever. In history. Well, my history.
Appointments: I had my appointment today. It went well. I have something called...something. It starts with an "S" and has other letters attached to it. I just get dizzy easily. Not just when I stand up. When I'm already standing. Thankfully it's not something I do that often *wink* It also makes me super tired. Throw in 400 degree weather, and you have yourself a pretty useless pregnant lady.
Also, I asked if I could possibly take steroids if my back got out of control again. She said YES! I wanted to cry with joy. Hopefully, it won't come to that, but I'm just so relieved.
This baby is measuring small, and I'm carrying low. I'm measuring about 20 weeks. She didn't seem concerned, and I have an ultrasound in 3 weeks, anyway. Plus, I can feel him growing, I know he's definitely getting bigger.
We're going back in 3 weeks, and then we'll start the 2 week appointments since we're at a slightly higher risk of pre-term labor.
Sleep: Is still not great. Again, I can fall asleep like a pro. I just wake up too early and can't go back to sleep. But my wonderful daughter still takes naps, so I do, too =) And I have an awesome husband who has been making dinner pretty much every night, which gives me extra time to rest. Like right now.
What I Miss: Not much. I realize all of the discomforts are temporary, and yield such an awesome treasure, I'd be willing to put up with them for a year. Luckily I only need to worry about them for a few more months. Woot! I do miss my energy, and being a full-time mom and wife instead of full-time bed sore.
Cravings: Cafe Rio's pork burrito. Oh yummy!
Symptoms: Crazy, weepy hormones. I don't think I had this bad of a hormone issue with the last ones. Brett would disagree if he wasn't so afraid of me.
Best Moment of the Week: Hearing that I can take steroids again if I have to. Every time I take a step and my back nearly knocks me down with pain, I panic. And that panic wears me out. It's a huge relief. I can't even express it. Also, tomorrow will be awesome, because it's the last day of schoooooool! For the kids, that is.
Sibling Rivalry: My sweet Kembry öfficially" has A.D.H.D. It breaks my heart and makes me feel happy to be on track to getting her help. I love her so much. She's such a great girl, she's so loving and talented. I see a great future for her! And possibly a bottle of xanax for me *wink*
For some insane reason I decided to count Chloe's tantrums yesterday. I did it until 11, because then it just got depressing. Ironically, she was pretty good after 11, as long as she was on my lap, in my arms, or eating candy. I mean, carrots. I only feed her vegetables.
Cohen is starting to try to assert his independence through back talk, but he's terrified of me, so he mumbles it. It cracks me up. Today I helped him straighten his room, and he threw all his books willy-nilly onto his bookshelf. I told him, "That's not how we put books away. Try again." And he mumbled, "Don't worry about it." As I write it out, it doesn't sound that bad of a back talk. And, honestly, it was a little funny. But he got a time-out for it. Might as well nip it now.
But I love my kids. The more time I spend with them, the more time I want to spend with them. I feel very little desire to go out on dates (though Brett and I did go to a movie on Saturday. It was dumb, total waste of our time and money.) I just want to be with them. I probably won't feel the same way after 1 week of having them home from school in 105+ degree weather, but hopefully it won't change too much ;)
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
26 Weeks
Total Weight Gain: I'll know next Wednesday. When I'm rounding the third trimester. What what! I'm so excited. I may have tunnel vision, but the third trimester always seems like there is light at the end of that tunnel.
However, I have not been eating well. And my guilt shows, if not my weight gain. Seriously, what is in those creamsickles? Crack?
G-g-g-gender: Still a boy, as far as I know. We get to do our 3D ultrasound June 13th. I would like another shot, just to make sure. Especially considering I just did 4 loads of little boy clothes.
Movement: I hope I can always remember this boy and his wiggles. He is by far the most wiggly baby I've carried. I love putting things on my belly and watch him kick them off. Maybe I'll get some video. He loves hearing Brett's music. LOVES! Brett's recording some of his music right now, and when he plays it back, Kian dances like maniac. Like he's never danced before! If I set my laptop on my belly, he can kick it off. Strong boy! "I think he's gonna be a soccer playa!"
Sleep: My sleep is actually...well, it's weird. I can fall asleep, no problem. In bed, on the couch, in the bath...driving...But I keep waking up earlier and earlier. If I'm smart, I just get up and deal with it. If I'm not smart (like this morning) and I stay in bed and toss and turn, and fall back to sleep and wake up about 50 more times, then I'm really grumpy and hormonal the rest of the day. So even though 5 AM is a wee bit early, I think it's my new wake up time. Kian will probably be groovy with that judging by how active he is then.
What I Miss: Being sane. Having low flow hormones. Not crying over everything. Not cramping. Having round ligaments but not knowing I have them. Seriously, ouch! How much more stretching could they possibly need to do? I've had 3 other children...aren't they already stretched out?
Cravings: Not healthy food, basically. Chips, creamsickles, spaghettio's, McDonalds french fries. Oh my heavens, McDonalds french fries, yes please.
Symptoms: Headaches. Bleeding Gums Murphy. Round ligament aches. Sore cervix. Constipation. I wish I had a protruding naval, but I have a crater for a belly button and it's NEVER poked out before. Bummer. Lower back pain, sciatica. Heat exhaustion, dehydration. Horrible swelling. You know, the usual stuff. All totally worth it.
Best Moment of the Week:
This Weeks Thoughts: What's in a name? My whole family is now using Kian's name, and I love hearing it. I wasn't sure there for a dark moment. I want to spell it with a "C", but I'm the only one. Kian's name isn't even registered on the social security list. Ok, it is. It's like 346, or something. Which is what Brett and I like. We've only met a handful of other Cohen's, no Kembry's, but...ack! Chloe's name is #10 on the most popular, and one of our friends just named her sweet little baby Chloe. I still love her name, and don't mind, really. But it's fun to see peoples reactions. They always tell what cute names our kids have, and I like that.
Their names really fit them. I think it's interesting that Brett and I always agree on a name (just one, gender specific) before we even know what we're having. That's usually a good indication of what we are having. Even when the doctor thought Chloe was a boy. Brett said, "Yay, I'm excited, but I really liked the name Chloe." "Me, too! Bummer!" Turns out, we got what we wanted.
Same with Kian. We decided on his name, without knowing what we were having. We couldn't figure out any girl names we really liked (we were all over the place, I liked Charlotte, he likes Kisha, or something.) Anyway, what's in a name?? Only that child's entire future. President Kian O'Connor Neff? I think it has a nice ring to it...
Sibling Rivalry: These kids. I love them to death. As in, I may strangle them, but love them the entire time I'm doing it. Ok, not really. You can't really joke about that these days.
We just found out Kembry has A.D.D. I feel both validated and sad. Validated that I'm not crazy and she really is all over the place, and sad because it can't be easy for her. We have her official appointment on Wednesday, and I'm excited to move forward with helping her.
I have a feeling she'll "grow" out of this, or, learn to deal with it or overcome it. But in the meantime, I am not averse to medicating her. And if it doesn't work, or she doesn't like it, or it changes who she is (that's where I draw the line) we'll take her off. We've managed with parenting styles up until now. I mostly want to get it worked out so that school isn't so difficult for her (or her future teachers!) She's doing excellent when it comes to learning. She's right up there with Cohen. She could probably surpass him, if she could focus long enough *wink*.
Cohen scored just a few points below the gifted and talented. I know, we're all so disappointed *rolls eyes*. Are you kidding me? That kid is awesome and so smart and wonderful. He's going to be in a cluster class next year. I...have no idea what that is. They explained it to me back in the first trimester. It did not absorb. I'm such a good mom!
Chloe has officially started the terrible twos. She is a tantrum queen. And you know what's really creepy and cute (at the same time): she has Kembry's exact laugh. Twilight Zone. The best treatment for Chloe's tantrums (grandma, pay attention!) is to ignore them. They get bad. Real bad. Thrashing, screaming, head banging, hitting, wailing, gnashing of the few teeth she has...But really, the best thing is to just let her have it. Ignore her, and then when she stops, open up your arms and give lots of loves and hugs. And never, ever leave the house.
This last week has been a roller coaster of emotion for me. Which is hard, because...I don't love emotion.
I don't love to cry. I don't feel better after a good cry. I feel worse. Worse for being "weak", worse because my eyes are swollen and gross. Worse because I can't explain to Brett why I'm crying (I don't even know why!).
I consider today's wicked headache as the apex of this horrible hormone week, and am determined that tomorrow I will be flying high. Tomorrow, the sun will rise for me, and I won't curse it for making me hot and sweaty, and blinding my headache with horrible pain.
Speaking of sweaty, it's going to be 106 today. Right now I feel cool and comfortable, not moving from my couch. The shades are drawn, all the fans are going, and my AC is only on 78. I feel confident that I can make it through the day in the same shirt.
Ha! Sweat is seriously at the forefront of my mind. Yesterday I drank 256 oz. of water and only peed once. My lips were still dry at the end of the day. I don't know how to stay hydrated in this desert heat. If 256 oz of cool water can't do it, I really don't know what can, at this point.
I wrote letters to all three of my children last night. I can't believe how big they all are. Kembry can read and Chloe is talking. It's all so indecent!
Cohen will be 7 in a few weeks. SEVEN. Let that sink it. SEVEN. I will be mother to a boy. Not a little boy. A boy. A wet-dog smelling boy. A boy who wears black socks with shorts, boy. A boy who thinks farts are funny.
Thankfully I can relive his babyhood once my new little boy is born. And I will. Oh, I will. I'll say things like, "Cohen, when you were a baby, you would do this, too..." Cohen will love it. Or he'll pretend to, he's good like that.
In the meantime, in the in-between time, I'm going to take a nap. And eat some Spaghettio's and another creamsickle. And probably cry some more. Why? No idea...
I don't love to cry. I don't feel better after a good cry. I feel worse. Worse for being "weak", worse because my eyes are swollen and gross. Worse because I can't explain to Brett why I'm crying (I don't even know why!).
I consider today's wicked headache as the apex of this horrible hormone week, and am determined that tomorrow I will be flying high. Tomorrow, the sun will rise for me, and I won't curse it for making me hot and sweaty, and blinding my headache with horrible pain.
Speaking of sweaty, it's going to be 106 today. Right now I feel cool and comfortable, not moving from my couch. The shades are drawn, all the fans are going, and my AC is only on 78. I feel confident that I can make it through the day in the same shirt.
Ha! Sweat is seriously at the forefront of my mind. Yesterday I drank 256 oz. of water and only peed once. My lips were still dry at the end of the day. I don't know how to stay hydrated in this desert heat. If 256 oz of cool water can't do it, I really don't know what can, at this point.
I wrote letters to all three of my children last night. I can't believe how big they all are. Kembry can read and Chloe is talking. It's all so indecent!
Cohen will be 7 in a few weeks. SEVEN. Let that sink it. SEVEN. I will be mother to a boy. Not a little boy. A boy. A wet-dog smelling boy. A boy who wears black socks with shorts, boy. A boy who thinks farts are funny.
Thankfully I can relive his babyhood once my new little boy is born. And I will. Oh, I will. I'll say things like, "Cohen, when you were a baby, you would do this, too..." Cohen will love it. Or he'll pretend to, he's good like that.
In the meantime, in the in-between time, I'm going to take a nap. And eat some Spaghettio's and another creamsickle. And probably cry some more. Why? No idea...
Friday, May 04, 2012
Waaaaaarm
Some days I almost completely forget I'm pregnant.
Well, not completely, not so much anymore. I sort of have a HUGE reminder sticking out in front of me.
But some days it's really not at the fore front of my mind.
Other days, however, it's my entire day.
I forget the limits being pregnant sets on my body. I forget I need to eat often (and healthy). I forget to drink enough water. I forget to rest.
I forget to stay cool.
Ugh. Even in a mall, I manage to over heat. I've never had heat exhaustion before, but it is uncomfortable! And sort of embarrassing. I don't like security guards mulling over me, watching me drink ice water. It was awkward, and uncomfortable.
So I'm determined to say cool. Hence, I'm never leaving the house, which will soon be turned into a giant refrigerator.
Kids, so help me if you open that front door.
And what is with the hormones!
I was apologizing to Brett about how hormonal I've been lately. His response, "It's okay. You mostly take it out on yourself."
I'm thoughtful that way ;)
Here's to a cool 97 degrees today!
Well, not completely, not so much anymore. I sort of have a HUGE reminder sticking out in front of me.
But some days it's really not at the fore front of my mind.
Other days, however, it's my entire day.
I forget the limits being pregnant sets on my body. I forget I need to eat often (and healthy). I forget to drink enough water. I forget to rest.
I forget to stay cool.
Ugh. Even in a mall, I manage to over heat. I've never had heat exhaustion before, but it is uncomfortable! And sort of embarrassing. I don't like security guards mulling over me, watching me drink ice water. It was awkward, and uncomfortable.
So I'm determined to say cool. Hence, I'm never leaving the house, which will soon be turned into a giant refrigerator.
Kids, so help me if you open that front door.
And what is with the hormones!
I was apologizing to Brett about how hormonal I've been lately. His response, "It's okay. You mostly take it out on yourself."
I'm thoughtful that way ;)
Here's to a cool 97 degrees today!
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