Rosemary Wixom, the Primary General President, gave an amazing talk at October's General Conference about helping our children "stay on the path". It really struck me. I listened to it on the radio while running errands that Saturday morning.
I hushed the kids several times. How ironic.
Anyway, at one point she said, "Our example is magnified in their eyes. They will follow our cadence when they feel secure in our actions."
Kembry playing mommy with her baby doll showed me just what kind of example I was being. I know I wrote it lightly, but it really struck me. I felt horrible. I felt like a failure as a mother. I felt like no amount of erasing and whiteout would be able to take away the memories Kembry had of me being that kind of mother.
But then Sister Wixom's words came back to me. "We do not need to be perfect-just honest and sincere."
I feel the Saviors love and understand a bit more the sacrifice He made for me when I remembered those comforting words. It gives me such great comfort. I repeat it over and over again. "We do not need to be perfect-just honest and sincere."
I sincerely want to be a better mother to my kids. It's not all bad, but I'm sure I can improve. And so I took some more of Sister Wixom's words and applied them to the Kembry-baby doll situation.
Sister Wixom said, "Teach them in every circumstance; let every dilemma, every consequence, every trial that they may face provide and opportunity to teach them how to hold on to gospel truths."
I did what she suggests, to "kneel down, and look into their eyes and feel their innate desire to follow the Savior."
I asked Kembry if she felt that I said those things to her. She shook her head and smiled. I didn't believe her. So I told her how much I loved her, and that she was the most important person in my world, along with her brother and sister and daddy. She hugged me around my neck. But I felt like there was more. I told her I only want her to be happy and safe, and that I was sorry if I ever told her I didn't have time for her.
I also told her that Chloe does cry a lot, and that it's hard for me and daddy to hear our baby being so sad. Sometimes we tell people that Chloe cries all the time, but that doesn't mean we don't love her.
She gave me a kiss.
I looked into her eyes. She seemed completely unabashed. But after that, she was a whole lot nicer to her baby doll.
Thank you Sister Wixom. What amazing words. They truly stuck with me, and I think they always will. I'm grateful for this small but poignant opportunity to teach Kembry, and myself. Mostly myself.
Update: Kembry turned off her baby doll. Oh man, I laughed and laughed, then asked her if I could turn HER off. She laughed and called me silly and reminded me that she's not a toy! Haha!