Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy Drunkin' Irish Day!

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.   Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily.

'Where have ye been all this time, child?  Why did ye not write to us, not even a line?   Why didn't ye call?   Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?'

The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff...Dad...I became a prostitute.'

'Ye what!?  Get out a here, ye shameless harlot!  Sinner!   You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'

'OK, Dad... as ye wish.   I only came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a $5 million savings certificate.  
For me little brother, this gold Rolex. 
And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the  country club...(takes a breath)...and an invitation for ye all to  spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.'

'What was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.

Girl, crying again, 'A prostitute, Daddy!  Sniff, sniff.'

'Oh!  Oh, Mary the Mother!  Ye scared me half to death, girl!   I thought ye said a Protestant !
 Come here and give yer old Dad a hug!

My family is old Irish.  We're also old Scottish.  I'm not sure how the two blended together without them knowing it, but it happened.
In the 1840's some time, my great-great Grandma Maggie and her husband Joseph Best set out for the America's.  I don't know much about them, but I'm grateful they made it.  Later, in the 1850's, my great-great Grandfather and Mother also came here from Northern Ireland, Patrick O'Connor and Mary Lynch.  
I'm glad they had leprechauns to cobble their shoes and put holes in their cheese.  Where would we be without them? 

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