Thursday, March 06, 2008

Confessions of a Housewife Part II: 1955/2008

I sent this funny thing to my hubby at work, just for a laugh. Well, he didn't mention anything all day, on the phone or through e-mail, so I just assumed he got a good laugh out of it and went on his merry way happily accepting that I am a wife of 2008. HOWEVER, I did a deep clean yesterday, bought his favorite dinner (salmon with onion baby red potatoes and green beans for me and the kids and an artichoke heart because he loves those) so when the little smart allick walks through the door and sees the house clean and smells the artichoke heart steaming, he says, "Oh, you know your place as a woman. Now quiet down kids, daddy has had a much more stressful day than mommy and needs to rest." The little butt. He didn't let it go ALL NIGHT LONG! But, that's why I love him. So, here we go with Confessions of a Housewife Part II: 1955/2008:

'55*Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
'08*The books, toys, paper etc are on the table to cover up the dust.

'55*Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
'08* Where do I begin? First of all, if I even attempted to light a fire, we wouldn't have a house anymore. Secondly, what would provide me with immense personal satisfaction would be sinking down into a hot bubble bath with a good book while he manages the rugrats.

'55*Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are (please hold all laughter until the end) little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
'08*Prepare the children. Mommy's about to shut down and daddy's about to take over. I couldn't get my kids to act like little treasures on command, EVER. They are occassionally, but really, it's on their time, definitley not mine! Third, what's a vacuum?

Stay tuned...

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