I've gotta be honest, my favorite part of Christmas is the movies.
Oh, and all the love and giving and crap.
But, if you've been living in a cave on the moon with your fingers in your ears, like I've so often suggested, then maybe you don't even KNOW what the BEST and GREATEST Christmas movies are. Maybe, just maybe, you've been waiting, down on your knees, begging and praying for SOMEONE, ANYONE to please, PLEASE tell you.
Well, I'm here.
To tell you.
That the greatest Christmas movie ever is:
Go. Watch. Enjoy. And when you've wet your pants from pure, insane laughter, think of me.
I love it when people think of me with urine in their pants.
It makes my day.
And when you're done with that, I'll tell you another one.
But I'm going to leave you yearning for it. You have to want it. You've got to need it, like air, before I'll give it to you.
Because I'm the only person in the whole wide WORLD who knows!
Well, me and the movie store guy who sold it to me. Cause I told him when I bought it. And now he knows.
And there was no urine in his pants.