Thursday, May 27, 2010

Uterus, You May Have Won This Battle...

There have been times, when some poor, unsuspecting first time pregnant woman has let down her guard and asked me a question about being pregnant.  Don't blame them, they're pregnant, they don't know they're talking to a dunce.

Anyway, as I'm sure all of you baby-pushers out there have experienced, sometimes I get asked, "How do you know when you're in labor?"

And I have always responded with, "You. Will. Know."  Occasionally with the add-on, "When you want to bite your husbands nose off for watching t.v. instead of being down on all fours next to you screaming."  Also a great sign.

So, there have been TWO nights now where I have been in that place.  And I'm officially worried I'm desensitizing myself.  I read a lot about women in my "situation" who ask, "How am I supposed to know I'm in real labor when it's felt like this THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME?!"  And now I'm in line with them. 

I asked Brett last night, in between death throws, "Are we just waiting for something really serious to happen?  Like blood or a babies head popping out, before we let go of the pride and head to the hospital?" 

He snored. 

I wanted to bite off his nose.

I fall asleep.  I wake up in agony.  I fall asleep again.  2 a.m...3 a.m....4a.m....4:30 a.m. good morning stupid neighbor thumping your music like you're car is a is a freaking night club instead of the crappy 4 cylinder sedan it is...5 a.m....6 a.m...fast forward, 9 a.m. and we're still having contractions.  Brett has smartly escaped my wrath and frizzled hair, has swept the children (and a pile of laundry) to my mothers house.  I am here with my pillows and my laptop for an outlet.  And you.  You poor reader.  Who get to read all about the going-on's of my uterus.  Bless you.  Will you take me to the hospital now?  Much obliged.

Kelly Down

4 comments:

nelsonturf said...

Have they seriously NOT given you terbutaline?!?! I would beat someone!!

Jenny said...

Oh Kelly! I am so sorry! do they have you on any medications? Good luck!

Kimberly said...

YOU. WILL. KNOW....

When I went into actual labour after enduring 10 weeks of that betch contracting, it was a different pain. At first I was all "Nah, this can't be it. Afterall, this is Chunky's due date. What are the effin...chan...ces..oh...mah...gah...ca..n't...eff...uhhhh...aaahhhhgggghhh...br..eathe...fack. What was that?" Then it kept getting stonger and stronger and stronger to the point where I peeled myself off of the couch and did a bang up job on the landscaping (cause I didn't want my hoo ha looking all gnarly) Yea, picture that...me in labour hunched over trying to shave the netherlands. Not pretty.

But seriously, you may need to wash your eyes out with bleach after that statement.

Ok, really serious here...you will definitly know. If the contractions are very regular but not super painful, I would still contact your OB. I had to go to labour and delivery 2 times for this reason and they gave me some yummy drugs and the contractions stopped.

But if it's the real deal. YOU. WILL. KNOW.

Big hugs, I know this sucks a hairy uterus's ass

Tara said...

I don't know how you are doing it. Bed rest. Contractions. It all and having to go through it so early. You are wonderful!! <3 and your post daily make me smile

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