To get from my front door to my couch, you will need to trip over the following:
A pair of high heels that failed to put me into labor yesterday at church.
A satin vampire cape.
A giant turkey roasted (in box).
A bill. An unopened bill. My favorite kind.
A big blue IKEA bag containing everything from our mini-van.
In order to sit on my couch, you'll need to move the following:
A collection of O'Henry short stories.
A pair of black gaucho's.
Better Homes and Gardens New Garden Book
A play ironing board.
A pair of 4T shorts.
And last but not least, a play ironing board. Oh, did I already mention that? (Seriously, why is it out here?!).
In order to wake me up from this afternoons nap, you'll risk:
Every working limb on your body.
Your beating heart.
One or both of your eyes, depending on how good my aim is.
G'Night New York!