Mirror, Mirror

I'm watching Kembry playing with her talking baby.

It talks, did I mention that?

It doesn't stop talking.

Anyway, when it says, "I want to play, Mommy," Kembry says, "NO!  You can't play with your friends!"

When it says, "Read me a story, Mommy," she says, "NO!  I don't have time right now!"

When it says, "I'm hungry, Mommy," she says, "I just fed you!"

When it cries (I mean, wouldn't you be crying right now if you were that baby?) she says, "She always cries, that's all she does.  Just go to sleep!"

Um....is this a reflection of me?

I'm feelin' pretty bad right about now.

I think I'll give her extra kisses, and cookies, and candies, and a pony.  And a puppy.  And she can play with her friends.  And drive my car.  And sit too close to the t.v.  And eat cereal without milk.

Kelly Out

(Come to think of it....I think she planned this.  Yeah, yeah.  See, she's a four year old evil genius...I mean, she's never even played with this baby, and she's had it for years.  She's just doing it to make me feel bad, to get candy...and ponies...Yeah, that's it....)

(Oh man, now I feel bad for thinking that.  I need a tag team session with Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil...throw in Dr. Oz too.  Shoot, I need all the help I can get.)

If I Wrote My Thoughts...

I bought a Chenelle throw on/in/during Black Friday.

I was sure someone would want it.

That someone is me.


Note to self: purchase industrial strength burp clothe.

That had nothing to do with the blanket.

And neither does this.

My kids are currently hiding "treasure" and drawing maps to find it.  It's amazing what they can do when I take away t.v. and the computer and the Wii and food.  I'm just in one of those moods.

Speaking of moods, you know how when sometimes you just want to cry so you start searching for movies/commercials/songs/coupon ad's to make you cry, and you can't find anything, and that makes you cry?  I'm so there today.

My poor husband and children.

And since I was already crying, I did five loads of laundry, cleaned out the kids closet, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and watched the garbage man get stuck in our snow covered circle.

I hate/love/feel ambivalent towards Monday's.  I'm feelin' wacky.  Time to lay off the back pain meds.

Well, maybe just one more...

Kelly Out

Brookies...Cownies...

Have you ever had brownies with COOKIES in them?

Go.  I command you try them.  Now.

Kelly Out

It's Still November, And I'm STILL Thankful!

What a wonderfully delicious Thanksgiving we had.

And following that, the dipping of the chocolates.

Right now I am under a sea of light, dark, and mixed chocolates.  Know that I am happy.  Know that I am experiencing true bliss.

And if I don't come back in a few days...wait longer...there might still be some chocolate I haven't eaten...erm...dipped.

Kelly Out

Thanksgiving

There are so many things to be grateful for.  Numerous, innumerable, too many, so many.


-My husband has kept his job and good income through a recession where so many have lost not just their jobs, but their homes, their way of life.  I still have my home.  My happy husband.  Clothes for my kids.  Chocolate for me.

-I am a member of Heavenly Father's true Gospel.  I have the truth because of a fearless and brave man, who, when he was only a boy, knelt down and prayed to know the truth.  Just like I did once.  I am grateful for him.  For this Gospel.

-I haven't lost anyone this year.  No one has fallen ill or had a serious sickness.  I'm still as klutzy as ever, but that hardly counts.

-I have my children, and they have me.  Chloe is here, safe, sound, fat and sleeping.  Who could ask for more?

-I'm stuffed to my gills with delicious food cooked by family that loves me.  That moans, "Oh, you have to go?" when we leave.  They love us.  I love them.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends in the World Wide Web!

Kelly Out

Gratitude and Colic

My sweet Chloe has colic.

Or is it colicy.

Or is it, has the colic?

Whatev's.

Basically, she cries all the time.

It takes another person, or a few dozen, to tell me this before I actually accept it.  I tell myself, like with Cohen, that she's just sleepy.  Or she's just hungry.  Or she's just bored.  But when it comes down to it, something is wrong.

Colic is so hard.  Ironically, I stay calm when I have a colicy baby.  It's ironic because I'm not a calm person.  I tend to get all uppity and grumpy and easily frustrated and over stimulated.  So far, I've been able to keep my crazy to a minimum

But that doesn't make it any easier.  I suffer because I know she's hurting.  I struggle because I feel helpless in helping my own baby.  Her screams shout to me in the middle of the night, just make it better.  And I can't.

I see Brett suffering from the same lack of anything to do.  It's probably harder for him because he's a man, and is therefore a fixer of all things broken.  And not broken.  Until he breaks them trying to fix them.

He even tried to make a home made remedy.  "What?  It's just a little clove and anise seed in a tea bag."

I draw the line here.

And today, I'm grateful that he listened.  And that she's sleeping.

Oh, I'm also grateful for Auntie's who keep her calm during Sunday dinner.

And aunts and uncles who visit with us while she screams.

And cousins who make us laugh.

And little baby cousins who play with our little babies.

And food.

Mostly food.

Good night  (hopefully!)

Kelly Out

A Quicky About The Boy

This will be a combined post of things I'm super grateful for, like the boy, and about how totally awesome that boy is.

Time.  Now that I have so little of it, I'm remembering how much I really like it.  I wish I could breed time like I breed babies.  Totally fertile.

Brett has made me hot chocolate two nights in a row now.  Yes!

I have felt completely and totally at peace with life.  I used to have dreams that a handsome, rich, ripped movie star would kidnap me and move me to a cottage in France with him.  Now when he offers, I say, "Nah, I'd rather hang out with my family."  True story.  And I'm not even on any drugs...besides chocolate.

I love making fondants for chocolates.  I love spending one-on-one time with my mother-in-law.  I love sugar.

And now for the boy.  My boy.  I grew him in my womb.  I squeezed him out like nobody's business, and even though he wasn't breathing, he had no brain damage.  Or maybe he did have brain damage, and he was initially the most intelligent being ever to be born.

A little much?  I think not!

I went to my very first parent-teacher conference today.  It comprised of continued praise over my sons unlimited genius sprinkled with golden nuggets of his kindness towards his fellow peers.

Erm...well...the kids a know-it-all and likes to play teacher.

And she complimented his grammar, articulation, and excellent sentence structure. 

Yeah, I have the most awesomest Kindergartener in the entire world.  Ever.

Love him.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day...Catch Up

I've been thinking a lot about things I'm grateful for these past few days so that I'd having something to blog about.  It's a lot of fun recognizing the small and simple things that make you think, "The Lord truly loves me."

I know He loves me, as if I were His only daughter.  I am grateful for this.

I am grateful for the gift of the Holy Spirit.  For the comfort I feel when I'm so distressed, it seems nothing in the world can help me calm down.  And truly, nothing in the world can help me calm down.  The Spirit is, ehem, outta this world.


I am grateful for our Primary leaders who worked so hard on that fabulous primary program.  With two investigators in the audience, I know they felt that sweet, innocent spirit.  I know I did.  I may have gotten teary eyed.  Okay, I may have dripped a few.  Okay, I bawled like a two year old.

Tomorrow I will be grateful for candy.  Tune in for a tummy ache.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day 11: It's Veterans Day, Wave Your Flag

Occasionally on my lazy days I drag Kembry and the baby off to Mcy D's for a small fry and a few minutes in the play place.

And every time I've done this, sitting off to the side, amazingly whispering, are 7 WWII Veterans.

They wear their hats proudly.  Their shoulders bowed, their eyes milky and tired, they sit and quietly visit with each other.  They sip their coffee, a few smile at my kids, and then go back to their conversation.

They are there every day.

And every time I see them, I think, "I wish I had the guts so sit down and talk with them."

I'm so grateful for them.  I get teary eyed when I see them sitting there, their hats propped high on their heads.  I want to hug them, to kiss them, to cry with them.  I will never know what they did for our country.  What they did for our grandparents and great grandparents.  What they did for the millions and millions of innocent people who suffered oppression and murder.

I don't know what goes on behind the line.  I don't know about the terror and fear of death.  The loneliness of being away from my family, thousands and thousands of miles away.  The responsibility of keeping my country free.  The chance to help other's obtain that same freedom.

But I do know that I think of them, out there in the who-knows-where.  Risking their very lives to protect me, a nameless face somewhere 'back home'.  I think of them and I pray for them.

May God speed their goals, protect their lives, comfort their families and their lonely hearts.  And may they know how eternally grateful we all are.

Kelly Out

P.S. They better be gettin' their coffee for free today.

Gratitude Day 9 AND 10: Aren't You Lucky?

My family had somewhat of a tragedy Monday evening, so I'm a post or two behind.  And this one, lucky for you, will have to be short, as my daughter just pooped all over the couch and is now being bathed by her father; unattended by me.

Scary stuff.

I am grateful for one of the things most sought after in this world, and rarely found, even in America, home of the dollar bill.

I have a safe home.  A comfortable home.  We have t.v.'s, a piano, comfy couches, windows, doors, indoor plumbing, a heater, an air conditioner...I mean, seriously.  How did we get so blessed?

We lay on beds with pillows and big, plush, comfy blankets. We can watch the snow fall peacefully from our big front window, with hot coco warming our hands and Christmas music in the background.

I'm so grateful for this.

I'm also grateful for family.  I should really dedicate an entire post to my family, because the more we mull over our "big decision" the more I realize how much they mean to me, and how hard it would be to leave them.  I think I've taken advantage of their very presence so near to me for so long.  I love them.  And as we have tragedies, it's amazing how we all come together in my moms tiny house.  How we're so happy being so close to each other.  How important it is for us to eat food together, to talk face to face, to hug and comfort each other.  So many things that can't be done cross country or over the phone.

  I love them.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day 8: These Two Shmucks

 How can I do a month of Gratitude without talking about these people.

The Grandparents.

My kids' grandparents spoil them more than any other grandparents in the entire world, ever in the history of mankind.

Today I'd like to focus on these two shmucks, my dad and his awesome wife, the bestest step-mom in the world, and therefore the greatest grandma in the world, Sandi.

These two are cuhraaaazy when it comes to spoiling my rodents.  Every holiday (even Halloween) they get a bag with goodies and toys and fun stuff.  If grandma sees a dress that would just look adorable on Kembry, she must get it.  If the cousin Boston gets a skull ring, so must Cohen.  

Shoot, they even have them over for sleep overs on the weekends.  Nutters.

Frankly, they have an unhealthy obsession with their grandbabies.

Let me tell you, if I ever spit up on the Utes sweater, I would've been locked away in the dungeons.

They even think Chloe's banshee scream is adorable.

Of course, Chloe's pretty enamored herself.

 She's looking forward to a very lucrative 18 years.

We love our Papa and Grandma Sandi, or as they were called in times of old, Sandi, Mandi, Cupcake.  Cupcake, of course, being that handsome gray haired man wrapped tightly around Chloe's fat fingers.  And Mandi being their Auntee, another pawn in the game of spoiling chess.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day 7: Fasting

At risk of being the dudes in the bible who make their faces all gaunt to show everyone that they're cool and they fast....I'm going to post about what fasting means to me, and why I'm grateful for it.

It's been a looooong time since I've been able to physically fast, what with creating life, then giving birth to it, then bleeding to death for a week or so...

It's been awhile.

So today is the first day in a good 11 months that I'm fasting, and can I tell you, I'm pumped.

Brett and I have a strong testimony in prayer and fasting.  We receive answers to our problems and questions as fast as lightning.  We're very blessed.  And when we fast, we feel the blessings and love of our Heavenly Father pouring out on us.  It definitely makes starving worth it =)

This week Brett came home with a really big decision for our family to make.  The biggest we've been faced with.  I'd even say bigger than having a baby.  Ok, maybe not that big.  The first thing I thought, with a rush of relief, was that we could fast about it in only a few days, and have the support of the Lord in our decision.

(Not that you can't fast any time, it just means more when you have the support of your Ward and family behind you.)

I'm grateful that the Lord has provided us with this monthly opportunity.  Grateful that we have a way to come  even closer to Him and our Savior.  Grateful that through following this commandment, we are given answers to our questions and results to our prayers.

Heavenly Father doesn't ask us to do this so that we suffer or become uncomfortable.  Shoot, if missing a few meals makes you that miserable, you've got issues.  But he provides a very simple way to follow a commandment and receive those blessings.  Fasting brings us closer, I have no doubt of that, to our Father in Heaven.  And I'm grateful for Fasting today.  Grateful we don't have to make such big decisions on our own. Grateful that we can find out the will of the Lord in such a simple way.

Kelly Out

P.S.  Sorry if this post is here and there.  I had kids crawling on me, a baby screaming, and a husband talking to me.  Struggling to focus, but determined to spit it out while it's on my mind =)

Gratitude Day 6: Falalalalala

Today I am cleaning.

And when I clean I get a little...shall we say...raunchy.

Mostly because while I clean the kitchen, there are two tiny tornadoes in the living room destroying it.  And while I clean up that mess, they've moved on to their bedroom, which was already category 5 disgusting.

But, ever since I worked in a retirement home cleaning up after meal time, I have found happiness in whistling and singing the Hymns.  I remember Rose sitting resolutely in her chair, smiling at me as I cleaned.  "What?" I'd ask her.  "It's just nice to hear your whistle while you work."

I miss Rose.

I sing, "When There's Love at Home" because it helps me remember that beating my children for their sloven ways will not make this a happy home.  And frankly, they learned their sloven ways from their mother.

I sing, "There Is A Green Hill Far Away" because it's my husbands favorite hymn.  It makes me think about him and about his love for our Savior.  It helps me not want to hurt him for not cleaning up the burnt milk on the stove.

I sing, "I Am a Child of God" because my children always start to sing it with me, and it makes a smile appear where there once was an angry scowl.  It also makes them weaken their resolve to be evil and destructive, and I can convince them to pick up a few things here and there.

I love the Hymns.  I love the Spirit they bring over me when I'm in my worst mood.  I love singing them in my horrible voice, and I love when my kids join in with me.  It's my favorite part of church.  They're my favorite songs to play on the piano.  And they're just about the only things that keep me sane while cleaning after a week of being sick and lazy.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day 5: The Ramen Report

As a kid, my mom would put ice in you to cool you down for me.

As a girl, you were the first hot food I could make entirely by myself.

As a teenager, you fueled my after school gossip with my BF as we scarfed down three or four packages each.

As a college student, you were the only thing I could afford.

As a newly wed, we would make googley eyes at each other over a steaming bowl.

And you were the only thing we could afford.

As a mother, you're cheap, you're fast, they love you and you fill up their bellies.

When I'm a matured woman, I'll eat you for nostalgia.

As a toothless widow, I'll chomp on you with my gums.

You're delicious in your uncooked crunchiness, and even better with you're salty juice.  I love you for breakfast, lunch or dinner, in winter or in summer.  I could take you with chicken, veggies or in a stew, but I love you just as plain, perfect, wonderful you.

Kelly Out

Gratitude Day 4: Our Founding Fathers (and Mother's, let's not forget them!)

I'm not an intellectualmajigger thingy, so you'll have to take this gratitude post with a grain of kosher salt.

Today, two days after election day since you were all probably blasted with election this and election that, I am grateful for my founding fathers.

Let me elaborate.

I'm grateful for the miles and miles they would ride on horseback, in the snow and rain, in the blistering, humid heat, away from their wives and mistresses and many, many children, to all gather together and protect the rights of the people.

I'm grateful for their sacrifice.  You know, many of them had jobs, like teaching or preaching or lawyering it up, and lawyers in that day weren't the Purana's they are today.  They actually did some good.  They had to leave those jobs.  I'm pretty sure they didn't get paid time off.

I'm grateful for the women they married.  The more I learn about the wives of the first five presidents, the more I realize that it was the strength of the women who stood behind them that made this country so great.  They had input, you know, into what happened with politics in those days.  Now-a-day they're just concerned about what dress suit to wear, whether they need a refreshing of the botox, and if their husbands mistress was gonna show up to the party.

I wish we could go back.  When there was no such thing as muckraking.  Where it wasn't a matter of which politician was having an affair, because they were real back then.  They knew they were all having affairs*.  When it was about the issues.  When they would make concerted efforts to make change, and not focus 70% of their time thinking about how they were going to get reelected.

When famous debates were held for the modern people.  On soap boxes.  In town squares.  With no shoes up hill both ways.  Wait...

Anyway, I would love to go into detail about the women who owned indigo farms, who ran entire towns, who found homes for orphans and who propagated slave rights long before it was fashionable, and who meant it.  Or about the women who forged ahead for womens suffrage.  You know, we've only been allowed to vote for 90 short years.  But, for your sake, I'll stop here.

Just know how grateful I am for those God fearing men.  I know the Lord sponsored them in their endeavors.  I know they had weaknesses and follies, but that's the cool thing about then.  It was okay to not be perfect.

Thank you, Founding Fathers, for at least trying to get this country started out on the right foot.  Sorry if we've screwed it up.

Kelly Out

*I don't condone these affairs.  I'm just sayin'.

Gratitude Day 3

Today I am sick.

Still battling the flu's leftover fever, sore throat, sinus congestion, and ear infection.  Praying it doesn't turn into my regular November pneumonia.

You'd think that today I would be grateful for modern medicine, but I'm a mom, so I'm grateful for something much more practical.

PBSKids, how I love thee.

I don't feel too guilty gluing Kembry to the t.v. for 6 or so hours if I know it's educational cartoons.  

I'm grateful for the publicly funded station, and plan on donating every cent that's fallen between the couches, since it's the only money not already designated for my shock therapy treatments.

I'm grateful that someone somewhere is keeping this station running.  Grateful for the writers of such clever shows as Word World and Super Why and Sid the Science Kid.  Not so grateful for the songs that get stuck in my head however...

Speaking of Sid the Science Kid, I learned about inertia yesterday.  This old dog can learn new tricks.

Thank you PBS for giving me a much needed time to rest.  And thank you Duct Tape for providing me with ample restraining abilities to keep Kembry in her chair.  Kidding, kidding!

Kelly Out

Month of Gratitude

I debated yesterday about committing myself to doing the Month of Gratitude.

I blame Monday.

And babies that wake up every hour to eat.

But this morning, I realized it's just what I need.

I need to sit down everyday and think about all the wonderful blessings I have in my life.  I know there has to be at least 30...

So, starting a day late, I bring you TWO, that's right ladies and gents, TWO things I'm grateful for.

Numero Uno:

I am grateful that my son puts his dish in the sink.  This may seem like a small thing, but it is the small things that life is made up of.  I have to pick up unlimited amounts of candy wrappers, dishes, clothes, diapers, etc. that this small and simple act brings tears to my eyes.  Whenever I hear that "clink, clink" in the sink, I smile.  Oh, he also puts his shoes away.

Future wife of Cohen, you're welcome.

Our cousin Linsy took this picture.  I think it's a perfect representation of Cohen, haha.  

Numero Dos:

I am grateful when I wake up early.

Like this morning.

We got a leisurely 15 minutes to read our scriptures together.  Brett showered, thank heavens, while I did the dishes I should've done last night, but would rather watch "Women of SNL".  Then, by the time Thing One and Thing Two decided to grace us with their presence, I had breakfast already cooking.

I always wanted my kids to wake up to something smelling delicious.  I always wanted them to have a hot breakfast first thing in the morning, with a mother in a dress and apron and pearls.  I always wanted to live in France and have a hot steamy affair with the gardener who strongly resembled Brad Pitt but had the patented French accent and rolled his Rrrrrrr's...

But, because I woke up early this morning, I was able to fulfill at least some of that fantasy, and my kids seemed pretty happy for it.

Now for my 8:27 A.M. nap...

Kelly Out

P.S. I was not in a dress and apron and pearls.  I was in old holey sweat pants with paint stains, and an even dirtier maternity shirt that's five sizes too big for me.  And snot dripping down my face.  And two day old mascara.  You're welcome for the image.

Monday Shmonday

I feel like I've titled a post this before...oh well...it still stands.

Monday Shmonday.

I get super spoiled once a week when Brett works from home.  I wish that day was everyday *stamps feet*.

Because then I don't have to load all the Neffites into the car to pick up boy Neffite at school.

Because then I wouldn't have to listen to Kembry's ramblings.  I would just tell her to go and bug her dad (whose working.  I'm such a great wife/mother.)

Because our trash-can is always the last to be taken in on Mondays, and I don't want to bring it in, so I have to wait for Brett, but if he worked from home, I could just command him to bring it in....run-on sentence much?

Because we still have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday until Saturday, in case you didn't know, and I'm already tired, and could use a nap, and would love to pawn the kids off on him.

Because doing chores with my hubby is much more fulfilling than slaving away on my own.

Because I love him and miss him.

Because I'm lazy.

Monday Shmonday.  Pooey.

Kelly Out