Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Marital Problems

I'm still trying to decide if this is a joke or not...I guess I just have a simple mind that can't wrap around the idea that someone would actually think to invent something so...redundant. Maybe I'm just cocky, 'cause I bagged myself a husband five years ago, and can't possibly understand what it's like to NOT have him constantly there (issues for another post, friends). But still, a robot husband who is like a real man, what's the use of that? At least make him clean, and rub feet, and validate. Make him insult all the beautiful, bleach blond, tan barbies who walk past us at the Gateway mall, giggling over cracks in the sidewalks (seriously, I think that's what they were giggling about) instead of just stare at them. If we've got the technology people, LETS USE IT! If I were Eggerson, this is exactly what I would've programmed him to do:

RH: Honey, you look stunning today.
Me: Thank you Robot Hubby.
RH: Dinner is almost done. The kids are just out of the bath. I folded the laundry and put the socks away in the order you like.
Me: Good, thank you.
RH: I also reorganized the hallway closet, bought you that pair of leather pumps you were admiring, washed the cats, cleaned the carpets, and organized the plates and bowls by size then by color.
Me: Wow...ok...
RH: Also, I mowed the lawn and weeded the garden. The oil is fresh in the car now, so you don't have to worry about that. I read all of your favorite classics out loud and recorded them in the voice of Pierce Brosnan on CD and then uploaded them to your IPOD so when you go to the gym tonight, you'll have something to listen to.
Me: Um...
RH: Is there anything else I can do for you, sweetheart.
Me: Stunned silence.
Brett: Wake up honey, you're having a dream!
Me: Dang it!

No comments:

You May Also Like

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...