Thursday, June 03, 2010

C.S. Lewis Makes Me Think

Brett and I are reading C.S. Lewis's Mere Christianity together.  I love C.S. Lewis.  I love reading about his life, about his transformations, about his incredible friendships.  I really love his outlook on God and our relationship with God.  I love his satire towards Satan. 

Brett and I are having a great time reading Mere Christianity, and since it takes up a lot of my time, I might share some of my thoughts and feelings here.  Like for instance, now =)

Interesting Fact: Mere Christianity is actually a series of talks he gave on the radio during World War II.

Another Interesting Fact: C.S. went by Jack.  The more you know.

This portion struck me yesterday.  C.S. says, "Supposing science ever became complete so that it knew every single thing in the whole universe.  Is it not plain that the questions, 'Why is there a universe?' 'Why does it go on as it does?' 'Has it any meaning?' would remain just as they were?"

Having children has really helped me understand my own relationship with Heavenly Father, how He sees me, how He teaches me, and how completely He loves me.

Our son asks a minimum of 3,000 questions a day.  Everything from, "Why are you going straight? Why is the light red?  Why is the sun yellow?" to, "Why does Jesus know everything?  What happens when we die?  Where is my scooter?"  He's full of curiosity, and sometimes I love it.  Brett and I are big on explaining things.   It's surprising how much a 5 year old can understand.

But no matter how much we explain to him, he still always asks, "Why?"  And most of the time I give up.  I can't explain it.

If we knew everything there was to know, as C.S. Lewis supposes, we would still question why?  I'm so grateful for this.  Our souls yearn to remember those things that have been forgotten, just as they yearn to return to the place they came from.  I'm pretty sure that's what's happening to my fetus right now.  She's trying to jump through my belly button to get back to Heaven where there was a little more space to move around.

Questioning why is a fundamental part of our relationship with God.  The answers don't always come when and how we expect them to.  Sometimes we have to wait for our understanding to catch up with our yearnings, sometimes experience helps us understand more, and sometimes we already know the answer, we just don't realize that we do.

Whenever Cohen begins to ask me a question, then stops with a shy, "Nevermind," my own curiosity goes wild. "What? What is it? What do you want to know?" My own yearning to teach my child knows no bounds.

I know Heavenly Father wants to answer my questions as much as I want to answer my own children's.  I know He does this through different means, like scriptures, talks, music, and the Spirit.  And I know that the only obstacle stopping me from knowing everything is myself.  I feel the Lord waiting anxiously for me to come to Him with my ponderings and questions, waiting excitedly to teach me. 

Kelly Down


Kimberly said...

My faith has really dwindled in the past years (back problems that led to loss of job that lead to chronic pain that lead to etc...) and the one time I felt that our lives were finally going to come together again was when I got pregnant. Then I got postpartum depression. Ugh...

I want so badly to be connected again to my faith (born and raised Catholic) but I am so angry at all the hardships I've endured.

I envy (I know, it's a sin ;) ) your relationship...someday, I hope to get back there again.

Thanks for sharing Momma!!

De España said...

Good post, Kelly! I really like CS Lewis, too. I'm glad that Heavenly Father is always there to listen to and answer our questions and prayers.

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