Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I Propose a REALLY?! Button

I have these friends on Facebook that just...annoy me.  On a daily basis.

Then why are they your friends, stupid?

Because I am weak, and a large number on my friends list validates me, that's why.

Remember how I like to be validated?  Yes, validation tastes good early in the morning.

Anywho, they say stupid stuff.  Stuff that I desperately want to comment on, but just don't have the cahoneys.  I'm also not generally a mean person, and I feel mean every time I say something mean on their stupid, stupid, stupid posts.  Stupid.  *Spits in disgust*

For one thing, they're under the impression that sports players should play better. 

That they should do the things that they, the accountants and the bankers and the maintenance men, think they should do.

They also think they should be humble and kind during their post interviews when they're slaughtered the other team.

They also think they can run the country better, apparently, than just about anyone.

I'magonna pull out a basic Seth and Amy "REALLY?!" here.

REALLY, accountant man?  REALLY?  Kobe Bryant REALLY should listen to your advice, because that's how he got to be where he is.  By listening to some 20 something, 215 lb (in the bad way) know-it-all whose never played a successful game of basketball a day in his life except that one time when he slaughtered his 98 year old great grandmother who has emphysema.  REALLY?!

And REALLY, he should be humble and submitting afterwards?  REALLY?!  He should bow down and thank the losing team for SUCKING CRAP, because without their SUCKING CRAP, the winning team would otherwise have bowed down, kissed their feet, and given them the win?  REALLY?!

You REALLY expect a pro-basketball player to be humble?!  REALLY?! 

Next, the President.  How's this for moron: "President Obama says BP is gonna pay.  That's all you can say?  Can you say one term President?"

I'm confident in making fun of this exact post here because a) this person doesn't read my blog and b) even if they did I already made fun of them on FB.  My mean rule was thrown out the window.  Maybe I'm grumpy this morning.

REALLY?!  Finally a president is stepping up and calling for some retribution, and you say this is a BAD THING?  Or is it that in the few minutes he had to address the situation, for the 90th time, he didn't elaborate and read a sonnet and condemn BP to the firey depths of Hades without the convenient coins placed over their dead lids to get them across the River Styx?  REALLY?!  What exactly should he have said?  Maybe he should have named all the millions of different species that have been effected by the oil spill, or perhaps listed the hundreds of names of executives that are responsible for the spill.  That would have been more.  Are you looking for more here?  Moron.  Or maybe he should've said my special FB friends name, and pleaded for him to write him the PERFECT speech to give at this, the day of his daughters wedding.  OH WAIT!  I mean, this, yet another speech about the BP oil spill.  REALLY!?

So, having said that, wanna be my FB friend?  I'm looking for a round 400 by the end of the week...sooo...

REALLY?!  Kelly?  Really?!

Kelly Down

1 comment:

nelsonturf said...

LOVE this post. It reminds me of my evil days of pregnancy, and brings me immense joy that I will never feel that way again. I swear I wanted to punch everyone that last month!
LOVE YOU! I promise to post something SUPER stupid for you to mock in the next few days.

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