I love the looks doctors give you. Don't they have a class in medical school to teach these people how to control their facial muscles? No? They should start one. I'll teach it. After all, they get to hear about all the weird places people stick things...
I've always managed to stump doctors, who then punish me by cutting me open and removing my organs. It's only fair, they don't like not knowing the answer. And I guess I don't need all my organs.
So I was updating my OB about the going-on's of my pissy uterus and all the pressure I was feeling in...places...that probably wasn't normal.
"But you didn't go to Labor and Delivery?"
"Um, no, should I have gone? I didn't go into labor..."
"Well, yeah, but they can give you something for the discomfort. They could stop the contractions, even if they're not progressing you."
He stared at my like I was a deeply troubled soul.
I stared at him like a man who was taking thousands of dollars of my husbands hard earned money, and not giving me any drugs in the process but instead sending me to another thousand dollar bill appointment called "Pointless Labor and Delivery" to get them, when he could just write me a freaking prescription. What a waste.
Then he listened to the babies heart beat and all my worries melted away. Sneaky doctor.