Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Have No Title For This Post

I love the looks doctors give you.  Don't they have a class in medical school to teach these people how to control their facial muscles?  No?  They should start one.  I'll teach it.  After all, they get to hear about all the weird places people stick things...

I've always managed to stump doctors, who then punish me by cutting me open and removing my organs.  It's only fair, they don't like not knowing the answer.  And I guess I don't need all my organs.

So I was updating my OB about the going-on's of my pissy uterus and all the pressure I was feeling in...places...that probably wasn't normal.

"But you didn't go to Labor and Delivery?"

"Um, no, should I have gone?  I didn't go into labor..."

"Well, yeah, but they can give you something for the discomfort.  They could stop the contractions, even if they're not progressing you."

He stared at my like I was a deeply troubled soul.

I stared at him like a man who was taking thousands of dollars of my husbands hard earned money, and not giving me any drugs in the process but instead sending me to another thousand dollar bill appointment called "Pointless Labor and Delivery" to get them, when he could just write me a freaking prescription.  What a waste.

Then he listened to the babies heart beat and all my worries melted away.  Sneaky doctor.

Kelly Down


Lindsay said...

Too funny! And by the way...the "hitting" post. Yeah. I would be PISSED. Seriously. I am SOOO sorry. That is NEVER okay. I cannot stand when other people discipline my child, I can't imagine having to deal with someone physically hurting my children. Emotional & mental hitting is bad enough. I agree with all those other comments...I hope everything is okay! And I still want to take pictures of your cute kids sometime! Let me know when you're available!!!

genderist said...

1. I mailed the book to you. You should get it early next week. :)

2. Doctors are a strange breed. I would like to teach a subsection of your class and call it, "Remembering Your Humanity".

3. I've thought more about your post about hitting your youngest. I'd also prompt the youngest to apologize to them for hitting them, and then look at them and tell them to apologize to the youngest for the same thing. That way you're modeling that hitting isn't okay, even if you're a big person. You're also modeling the importance of apologizing when you hurt someone else.

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